The Adventures of the Smart Patrol

There Is No Joy In Spudville

2007-04-06T13:05:00.000-04:00

UPDATE: We've got a new home. Come join us in Shakesville!

Here's some big news for you, my little Spuds...

I've decided to close "The Adventures of the Smart Patrol," and blog exclusively on Shakespeare's Sister. Most of my regular readers check out my posts there as it is, and I'm sure that those of you that only read me here will find plenty of fantastic posts and good discussion at Shakes' place. It just seemed a little silly to me to be cross-posting everything over there, and keep this open just to have "my own place." Add to that the "all new blogger" that will probably kill my cool template along with my very small amount of hits, and it just doesn't seem to make much sense to keep this blog going.

I'll be keeping this up as an archive for a while, and to direct readers over to Shakes' place ("Our" place, now!) from now on.

Thanks for being loyal readers, fantastic commenters, and good friends.

Duty now for the future, Spuds!

I'm Spartacus

2007-02-14T11:35:00.000-05:00

Opening up shop again for one post, in support of Melissa.

Thanks, driftglass and BlueGal.

Common Sense Ruuuulz

2006-12-14T12:24:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter Can Stay.

ATLANTA - The Georgia Board of Education voted Thursday to uphold a local school board's decision to leave Harry Potter books on library shelves despite a mother's objections.

The board members voted without discussion to back the Gwinnett County school board's decision to deny Laura Mallory's request to remove the best-selling books.

Mallory, who has three children in elementary school, has worked for more than a year to ban the books from Gwinnett schools, claiming the popular fiction series is an attempt to indoctrinate children in witchcraft.

"It's mainstreaming witchcraft in a subtle and deceptive manner, in a children-friendly format," said Mallory, who is considering a legal challenge of the board's ruling. "The kind of stuff in these books — murder and greed and violence. Why do they have to read them in school?"

Gwinnett school officials have argued that the books are good tools to encourage children to read and to spark creativity and imagination. Banning all books with references to witchcraft would mean classics like "MacBeth" and "Cinderella" would have to go, they said.

Countdown to Mallory's next attempt: 10, 9, 8...

They Left Out "Barefoot and Pregnant"

2006-12-14T10:48:00.000-05:00

Well, guess what, kids? The "Left Behind" video game isn't just violent and racist; there's another aspect to this game that shows exactly what kind of minds we're dealing with here: (bolds mine)

If you listen to this week’s podcast, you’ll hear me take a moment to note that I was actually offended by some blatant sexism in Left Behind: Eternal Forces. Now, I’d like to start this rant out by stating that I’m not easy to offend—the PC in PC Gamer does not stand for politically correct. I myself enjoy (and often make) jokes that some more sensitive people would consider to be in pretty poor taste. You won’t see me up in arms over the portrayal of women as hookers in Grand Theft Auto, but Left Behind’s brand of sexism left a bad taste in my mouth. What’s the difference?

In Left Behind, you recruit followers by talking to people on the street and increasing their spirit levels. When the level is high enough, they become your “friend,” and can be trained to pursue a number of careers, including soldier, medic, musician, builder, or recruiter/evangelist.

Unless, of course, you make the mistake of recruiting a woman.

Yes, you read that right: women are limited to just two career choices. Welcome to the 1950s, when women could only be singers or nurses. (To be fair, I’m sure if there were teacher and homemaker professions in the game, women could do those, too.) All of the rest of the careers are critical to your success in the game, meaning that if you had a group made up entirely of women you couldn’t succeed, but a group of all men could. Without exception, every female friend I showed these screens to gasped when they saw it. Several used language unbefitting young ladies of stature to describe their feelings toward people who would make a conscious design decision to limit the potential of women and encourage players to pass them over in favor of men. And I have to say, I agree.

Someone please explain to me the difference between this move and making a game where black people can only pick cotton or play basketball while whites can choose from a dozen professions? In my eyes, there is none, other than that this is just slightly less disgusting. For once, I think the ESRB rated a game too low, with a T for teen and the sole descriptor of “violence.” If I were a parent I’d be fine with them playing Command & Conquer-level violence, but there’s no way I’d let my teenage kids play a game that teaches them that women are less capable than men. This is the very definition of bigotry, or more specifically: misogyny.

Delightful, isn't it?

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to my buddy Grendel.)

"I Kick Ass For the Lord!" Part 3: The Ass-Kicketh Cometh

2006-12-13T13:55:00.000-05:00

I posted about the "Left Behind" Video game a couple of times; and it's cropped up in the news again. Featuring the retailer you love to hate: Wal-Mart!

(By the way, this is a really weird story. Every time the game pops up in the news, it seems like it's the first time everyone's heard about it, even though the story has been out there for almost a year. I can only assume the game's creators have been using crazy purple knockout gas on everyone in the country until they managed to get this crap on the shelves.)

Convert... or DIE!!

Liberal and progressive Christian groups say a new computer game in which players must either convert or kill non-Christians is the wrong gift to give this holiday season and that Wal-Mart, a major video game retailer, should yank it off its shelves.

The Campaign to Defend the Constitution and the Christian Alliance for Progress, two online political groups, plan to demand today that Wal-Mart dump Left Behind: Eternal Forces, a PC game inspired by a series of Christian novels that are hugely popular, especially with teens.

The series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins is based on their interpretation of the Bible's Book of Revelation and takes place after the Rapture, when Jesus has taken his people to heaven and left nonbelievers behind to face the Antichrist.

The article forgets to mention that the books suck. I like how it's only "Liberal and Progressive" Christian groups that apparently have a problem with this game. Yeah.

Get this:

Left Behind Games' president, Jeffrey Frichner, says the game actually is pacifist because players lose "spirit points" every time they gun down nonbelievers rather than convert them. They can earn spirit points again by having their character pray.

HAHAHAHAHA! Mr. Frichner, are you familiar with the theatrical term, "If the gun's on the wall, you gotta use it?" And what a "Christian" message to teach... no matter how many people you kill, a quick prayer will wash your soul squeaky clean!

"You are fighting a defensive battle in the game," Frichner, whose previous company produced Bible software, said of combatting the Antichrist. "You are a sort of a freedom fighter."

You are sort of a buttfor.

A Wal-Mart spokeswoman said the retailer has no plans to pull Left Behind: Eternal Forces from any of the 200 of Wal-Mart's 3,800 stores that offer the game, including just seven in California. The nearest are in Chico and Redding.

"We look at the community to see where it will sell," said Tara Raddohl. "We have customers who are buying it and really haven't received a lot of complaints about it from our customers at this time."

Translation: I'll take it off the shelf as soon as I stop rolling around on this enormous pile of money.

"It's an incredibly violent video game," said Stevens. "Sure, there is no blood. (The dead just fade off the screen.) But you are mowing down your enemy with a gun. It pushes a message of religious intolerance. You can either play for the 'good side' by trying to convert nonbelievers to your side or join the Antichrist."

The Rev. Tim Simpson, a Jacksonville, Fla., Presbyterian minister and president of the Christian Alliance for Progress, added: "So, under the Christmas tree this year for little Johnny is this allegedly Christian video game teaching Johnny to hate and kill?"

Well, at least it will be healthier for little Johnny than something wicked and evil like... *gasp*... Harry Potter!

Players can choose to join the Antichrist's team, but of course they can never win on Carpathia's side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics. Every character comes with a life story.

When asked about the Arab and Muslim-sounding names, Frichner said the game does not endorse prejudice. But "Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ" -- and thus can't be on Christ's side in the game.

"That is so obvious," he said.

Yeah... I can think of something else that's pretty fucking obvious.

But Plugged In, a publication of the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, gave the game a "thumbs-up." The reviewer called it "the kind of game that Mom and Dad can actually play with Junior -- and use to raise some interesting questions along the way."

"Mommy? What would be better to blow away the Muslims? The grenade? Or the sawed-off shotgun?"

"Oh, go for something smaller, Junior. Use your automatic and just shoot a hole in his stomach. That's the slowest and most painful way to make a heathen die."

And they'll know that we are Christians by our love, by our love!

Immigrant Hysteria

2006-12-13T12:25:00.000-05:00

This is just appalling. (Bolds mine)

Union: DHS Raids Grabbed Legal Workers

Union officials are outraged over a massive immigration sweep yesterday, which sent 1,000 Homeland Security Department agents -- some in riot gear -- to meatpacking plants in six states to round up immigrant workers suspected of using fake identification, but may have picked up legal workers in the process.

"Stormtroopers came in with machine guns, rounded [the workers] into the cafeterias, separated identified citizens from non-citizens, and then they took away all green cards and put non-citizens onto buses," regardless of the immigrants' legal status, Jill Cashen of the United Food and Commercial Workers union (UCFW) told me this morning.

Cashen said that reports from all six states confirmed that legal immigrants were among those taken away, and have not been returned. "We're still trying to find out where the buses went," she said. "Children have been left at church day cares. Nobody knows where these people are."

A thousand stormtroopers with machine guns? Holy geez, can you say "overkill?" And not only are the people seized now without green cards or identification, no one knows where the hell they are. Supposedly they were brought to "detention centers." What detention centers? Where?

There are legal immigrants (and, very possibly, American citizens) that have been rounded up in these raids and have vanished, leaving children behind, and for what? Because they worked in a meat packing plant that may or may not have had illegal immigrants working there?

Recently unsealed court documents show that DHS had identified 170 identity-fraud suspects it wished to apprehend, but that the agency wanted to round up as many as 5,000 other workers because it "further expect[ed] to apprehend persons who are engaged in large-scale identity theft[.]" Union officials say the total number of detained workers may be higher than 5,000. (Update: We've uploaded those court documents to our document collection here.)

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has not released official tallies from the raids, but have promised to do so at a 10 a.m. press conference in Washington. UFCW is holding a press conference at 9:30 to discuss what they believe to be heavy-handed tactics used by the federal government.

I don't know what this "identity theft" angle is... to me it sounds as if they're trying to throw in that delicious law breaker angle. "Look! It's okay because they're criminals!" And what kind of "identity theft" are we talking about, here? Are we talking about stealing a person's life savings through use of credit card fraud, or are we talking about a fake green card? How is creating a new identity equal to stealing someone else's identity?

"Stormtroopers" is a very effective word here... let's call this what it is: thuggery and terror tactics. Looks like the Department of Homeland Security is taking tips from the people they're supposed to be apprehending.

More in the Washington Post story:

Worker advocates condemned yesterday's raids, which came without warning. They advised detainees to remain silent and contact attorneys.

And I'm sure they're being allowed to do so.

"These actions today by ICE are an affront to decency," said Mark Lauritsen, a spokesman for the United Food and Commercial Workers union, which sought an injunction in court to halt the raids and planned protests around the country. Federal agents essentially stormed plants "in an effort designed to terrorize" workers, he said.

[...]

In an interview, Swift's president and chief executive, Sam Rovit, also criticized the arrests. He said that his firm's practices are similar to those of its competitors and that "everyone in the whole agriculture sector should be worried."

"Swift has played by the rules and relied in good faith on a program explicitly held out by the president of the United States as an effective tool to help employers comply with applicable immigration laws," said Rovit, whose company reported $9.4 billion in sales in 2006. "Swift believes that today's actions by the government . . . raise serious questions as to the government's possible violation of individual workers' civil rights."

Rovit cited promises made by the government to protect employers who voluntarily submit information about workers to a federal program called Basic Pilot, which confirms the authenticity of Social Security numbers against federal databases. Swift has run all new U.S. hires through the program since 1997.

Studies show that Basic Pilot suffers from data errors, has an unacceptably high false-alarm rate and cannot detect fraudulent use of borrowed or stolen Social Security numbers. Congress is hoping to expand the program as part of beefed-up enforcement.

More on Basic Pilot here.

Michelle Malkin, of course, never fails to leap on the immigrant bashing wagon, dismissively labeling concerns over these stormtrooper tactics as "whining."

The New York Times, like many other outlets, runs a large photo of arrested workers' families in tears. Not pictured are any of the hundreds of American victims of illegal alien identity theft whose Social Security numbers were stolen to enable the illegal alien workers to work.

Who will tell their stories?

Well, Michelle... how about you? Why don't you drop the smug sneering and actually prove that this identity theft is a bigger problem than legal immigrants being rounded up, stripped of their identification, and detained who knows where? And while the "hundreds of victims" are not pictured, that horrible, terrible New York Times does say in the very article you link to:

In a new enforcement tactic, federal officials said they planned to bring criminal charges against some of the immigrants accused of using stolen identities. They said the raids were tied to complaints from United States citizens who discovered that their names were being used by Swift plant workers.

“There are several hundred Americans who were victimized,” said Marc Raimondi, a spokesman for the immigration agency, known as I.C.E.

[...]

Illegal immigrants frequently use false Social Security cards or residency documents known as green cards when they apply for jobs. I.C.E. officials said the operation focused on immigrants who had obtained documents with identity information corresponding to that of United States citizens, in some cases by buying them from underground organizations that traffic in false documents.

Yeah, no one's talking about that.

You know what I don't see? I don't see you providing any examples of this so-called "whining." Other than, you know, people wondering what the abandoned children are going to do now. Of course, serious discussion might back you into a corner, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

What, Again?

2006-12-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

Another kiddie porn addict is busted, and guess what? He worked at a church camp. And more guess what: the guy already has an unlisted phone number; how long do you think it will take this guy to vanish once the Registered Sex Offender "protective" laws kick in?

Ex-Church Camp Leader Faces Porn Charges

COLUMBIA, Ill. - A former church camp leader was arrested on child pornography charges and accused of trying to coax girls, at least one of them a former camper, to pose partly naked or perform a sex act.

Aaron Niles, 20, began chatting with the girls online using the screen names "loverboyniles" and "godrocks30" after working at a Baptist summer camp in 2005, Columbia Police Chief Joe Edwards said Wednesday.

Creepiest screen names ever. "See, this is the one I use when I'm spreading the Word of our Lord, and this is the one I use when I'm trolling for underage tricks!

He was arrested Tuesday on three counts of child pornography and one count of indecent solicitation of a child related to incidents in April and May.

At least one of the girls in the allegations had attended the summer camp where Niles was a volunteer team leader, police said.

Investigators were still combing through Niles' computer Wednesday, but "once we complete this, the potential for additional charges are there," Edwards said.

He said investigators also were asking parents whose children may have attended the Super Summer Baptist Camp in Greenville in 2005 to check their children's computer for Niles' online user name.

Niles was jailed on $10,000 bond. He has an unlisted telephone number in Waterloo, near Columbia, about 15 miles southeast of St. Louis.

I know you're all probably getting sick of me going on and on and on about the sex offender registries, but this is exactly what I'm talking about. All the registries and photo stuffed websites in the world are not going to protect your kids if they're being approached by creeps in a place where they're assumed to be safe.

Granted, it would appear that this guy didn't approach these girls until after they were at the camp, but he was obviously collecting information that he could use in the future for less-than-savory purposes. While only one girl has been confirmed to be a former camper, I'd bet my lucky aggie that they'll find more. To me, this looks like he was planning ahead to protect himself; if he tries something at camp, he's sure to be caught... but if he collects names and goes after them when they're alone and vulnerable...

So what's the answer? I wish I knew. Thorough background checks are a good start when it comes to camps, churches, coaches, and the like, but if the person has never been caught before, it's not necessarily going to turn up anything. Prevention is going to take parents keeping in mind that sexual predators aren't just the creepy guy on the sexual offender website or someone trolling MySpace. Very often, it's the person in the one place you thought you could trust.

Are You an "A," an "RSO," a "MU," or "Other?"

2006-12-12T11:18:00.000-05:00

And the Registered Sex Offender Circus continues...

(Please see earlier posts for disclaimer.)
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

...and another life is ruined. (Salon.com link; you'll have to watch a brief ad. The original article is here.)

Wednesday the Utah Supreme Court found itself in legal pickle, as it looked at a case in which a 13-year-old girl who'd gotten pregnant with her 12-year-old boyfriend as simultaneously a victim and a sex offender. Comparing the state's ill-conceived statutory rape laws with those concerning 19th century honor killings, Associate Chief Justice Michael Wilkins told the Salt Lake Tribune: "The only thing that comes close to this is dueling."

As a mother of two girls, I want age-of-consent laws to scare off creepy guys. And since some pedophile groups have made it their cause célèbre to fight for sexual rights, some part of me would like to set the planetary AoC around 28 and call it a day. On the other hand, I shudder to think of my girl getting "protected" by any law like Utah's. When it means treating a kid unfortunate enough to get pregnant at the tender age of 13 as a sex offender, there's something seriously twisted in Mayberry. No doubt after a notorious history as a breeding ground for polygamous megalomaniacal assholes who prey on young girls in hopes of siring the next messiah, Utah's eager not to look too flaccid when it comes to age of consent. (In fairness, megalomaniacal assholes reside in other states, too.)

But let's face it, these laws are a colander of legal worms. Yes, when grown men or women have sex with children, it's a serious crime, but drawing those lines isn't always easy. Given the variance among state laws, what's legal as a consensual act of love between two people in one location can become statutory rape a mile away. Many states try to make mitigate these laws by creating "close-in-age exceptions." For instance, Utah doesn't criminalize 16- and 17-year-old teens having sex with others in their own age group; even 14- or 15-year-olds who have sex with peers fewer than four years older are committing no more than a misdemeanor. Unfortunately, the 13-year-old falls into neither of these categories -- so in the eyes of the law, she's considered a full-fledged sex offender. (Utah's high court hasn't ruled on whether she can be prosecuted yet, but lower courts have held that she can, according to the SLTrib.)

This just goes to show (yet again) how bizarre these Age of Consent and "Registered Sex Offender" laws can be. Simultaneously cast as a victim and an offender, this girl is now branded with the RSO label for life, unless the judge in this case suddenly has an attack of common sense.

The Utah Court of Appeals last December upheld the judge's refusal to dismiss the allegation. At Tuesday's arguments, Matthew Bates, an assistant Utah attorney general, argued the prosecution of the girl was not unreasonable. He said the statute in question is designed to prevent sex with children who are 13 and younger, even if the other person is in the same age group. By passing that law, legislators were sending a message, Bates said: Sex with or among children is unacceptable. Randall Richards, the girl's attorney, argued that prosecuting children under a law meant to protect them is illogical.

Meanwhile, no one seems to be arguing that said sex was consensual. Look, I don't like the idea of 12 and 13-year-olds having sex either, but who is being "protected" in this case by registering this girl as a sex offender? (I'm assuming her boyfriend may also be prosecuted as such; as she is considered his "victim" in this case.) She's a few months away from an age when this act would be considered a misdemeanor (if not completely ignored), but now she'll be dogged for the rest of her life by the RSO Scarlet Letter. She's thirteen. How will this affect her getting into college? Into a good job later in life? Hell, what if her high school decides they don't want a "registered sex offender" in their halls? What if, some day, she wants to rent an apartment?

In an effort to protect children from sexual predators, legislation is being passed that not only won't protect them, but is also categorizing children who have sex as predators. The current laws simply aren't working; they do absolutely nothing to solve the problem. If anything, they are making it worse by making truly dangerous sex offenders more mobile, and more difficult to track. Fortunately, some people seem to be waking up, but it's too little, too late, for many people who carry the mark of the registered sex offender who may not necessarily be a horrific danger to the general public.

But hey, if it's broke, why not break it some more? (bolds mine)

Internet registries of rapists or pedophiles are available in every state, but a new breed of criminal now is experiencing the notoriety of being outed online — people convicted of making or selling methamphetamine.

"It lets the community know that there’s someone like this in their community, because the likelihood of them going back and doing it again is high," said Georgia state Rep. Mike Coan, who is spearheading meth registry legislation. "It’s no different, really, from the sex offender (registry). If there’s one living near me, I want to know it."

The idea of posting the names of meth offenders online is gaining momentum. Four states have put in place laws to create Internet meth offender registries, two are putting final touches on similar laws, and several other proposed bills are in limbo until the state legislatures start the new session.

But critics say the registries raise legal questions, do little to protect the public and may have unintended consequences.

"The problem with these registries is that we’re creating a class of untouchables within our society who cannot rent apartments or secure employment," said Jonathan Turley, a criminal defense attorney and law professor at George Washington University. “When you diminish the likelihood that ex-felons can live and work in society, you increase the chances that they will return to criminal behavior.”

Absolutely brilliant. Take an ineffective concept that amounts to nothing more than a forum for public humiliation of criminals, and apply it to another current "hot button topic." Don't pass any legislation to provide funds and assistance towards prevention, education or treatment; just create an online pillory.

“Unlike other drugs where it is really harmful to you and your family, meth is hazardous to all around you,” said Jennifer Johnson, public affairs officer at the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation, which maintains the state's database. “… That’s why we don’t foresee a heroin or cocaine registry.”

Yet.

And how exactly are heroin and cocaine not hazardous to all around you? So, I should worry about the possibility of a meth lab exploding in my neighborhood, but I shouldn't worry about people selling coke on my street because it's not hazardous to me? I guess if there's a drug-related drive by shooting and bullets go stray, I needn't worry my pretty little head over it, as they have nothing to do with my family.

Yes, meth is very dangerous and is causing terrible problems all over the country, particularly in rural communities. But that doesn't diminish the impact of other drugs on the same communities. There's a very simple reason why we're seeing this new registry:

Property owners were the most forceful backers of legislation to create the meth registry, viewing it as a tool to screen prospective tenants.

But since the list does not include photographs, lists offenders by the location of their offense rather than their current addresses, and doesn't require them to notify authorities when they move, critics say it is little use to the general public.

"It's symbolic," said Bill Piper, director of national affairs at the nonprofit Drug Policy Alliance, which advocates reform of harsh drug laws. "It makes politicians who are really not doing anything look like they are."

Bingo.

I'm ashamed to see that my state is considering one of these registries. Apparently, they're still "working on the content;" considering if the offenders' addresses should be included on the website. Bad idea.

The American Civil Liberties Union questions the registries on the grounds that they amount to unconstitutional "double jeopardy" by imposing additional punishment on offenders after they have served their time.

A court challenge to sex offender registries on those grounds failed when the Supreme Court ruled in 2003 that they were a legitimate way of protecting the public. But it is not clear that the threat posed by drug offenders will be deemed as serious, said Turley, the George Washington University professor.

He also warned that publicizing the whereabouts of former drug offenders after they are released from prison could put them at risk, including former gang members or others simply trying avoid getting sucked back into the drug lifestyle.

"The registry (with their addresses) would present a clear and present danger to them," he said.

That's not a frivolous concern.

In April this year, Ralph Marshall, a 20-year-old Canadian, found two sex offenders through Internet registries and gunned them down in their homes in Maine before killing himself.

The year before, in August, a Washington man posed as an FBI agent to enter the apartment of three registered sex offenders near Seattle and later killed two of them, authorities said.

But to many people, this kind of vigilante justice is A-OK.

Perhaps we'll start hearing some talk about re-working these draconian online criminal registries when they put together the online "White Collar Criminal Regsitration Database." Or the "Do-Nothing Politician Registration Database." Hey, a criminal's a criminal, right?

News Flash: Knucklehead Manages to Bang Out Column with Forehead

2006-12-07T14:47:00.000-05:00

Michael Medved, Townhall's biggest pinhead, has written one of the dumbest things I've ever read.

No, seriously. It's that dumb.

See, he's trying to raise the old, tired "gay marriage = special rights" canard, but his efforts are so sloppy and senseless, you almost have to feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

He does some hand wringing over Ted Haggard and others that have been caught indulging their taste for that same-sex forbidden fruit. He spouts some "no one would be as ready to forgive these people if it were a heterosexual affair they were involved in" ridiculousness. Apparently, people like it when media figures have gay gay gay affairs... it's those damn hetero affairs that are verboten!

In high profile cases, in other words, we seem far more willing to forgive and forget faithless behavior if that infidelity involves a homosexual connection. This amounts to the granting of a special dispensation, a privileged position, to same sex attraction—giving more latitude to gay relationships than we’d ever grant to straight romances. The justification for this attitude involves the notion that gay men who leave or destroy their families for the sake of homosexual affairs are simply discovering, at long last, their true identities after years of repression– coming to terms with “who they really are.”

Yeah, all those closeted, self-hating gays get all the breaks! They never get publicly humiliated or lose their jobs! Meanwhile, poor Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani had all kinds of affairs, and they never hear the end of it! Why, they don't dare show their faces in public! And poor Jimmy Swaggart... his apology fell on deaf ears!

...ahem.

Spinning wildly, Medved then burbles:

One of the most common arguments for gay marriage also carries with it the implicit assumption that gay relationships count as inherently superior, more durable and more meaningful than their straight counterparts. Andrew Sullivan and many others advocate governmental endorsement of same sex marriage as a means of encouraging more responsible, monogamous behavior on the part of gay males, with their acknowledged tendencies toward promiscuity as part of the notorious and dysfunctional “bath house-and-leather bars” culture. In other words, all that homosexual guys need in order to give up lives of often reckless recreational sex is the right to a wedding license and a traditional marriage.

Yeah, advocates of gay marriage are always pushing that "inherently superior" meme when they ask for "equality." Because the definition of "equality" is "we get more than you." Hey, wait... he used the "special rights," the "all gay men engage in reckless sex lives" and the "all gay men go to bath houses" clichés in just one paragraph. Wow. He hit the trifecta. Someone should give Medved a medal. A really old, used up one.

Then he grabs the wheel, slams it to the right, and heads right into wackyland:

But the advocates of same-sex matrimony fail to explain why the institutions and practices which they believe will work so well in solidifying relationships in their community have failed to function with similar effectiveness for heterosexuals. Gay rights advocates find themselves in the odd position of arguing that legally sanctioned marriage will work better at improving and enhancing homosexual intimacy than it has in strengthening the straight partnerships for which it was designed. In fact, champions of marital redefinition love citing the baleful example of Britney Spears, asking why the pop star should be entitled to two brief, failed, ill-considered marriages, while more responsible and mature gay people can’t win approval for even one. Critics of the status quo also deride those of us who say we’re trying to defend traditional marriage –pointing out that the high divorce and infidelity rate makes it questionable whether this old concept of matrimony is even worth defending.

Yet these same gay rights activists continue to claim that the same institution that has failed to uplift or preserve the relationships of so many heterosexuals, will work magically to enrich the lives of gays. The assumption behind these contradictory arguments seems to be that homosexual relationships are somehow inherently more worthy, conscious, generous, mature and capable of refinement by marital institutions than their unthinking, straight equivalents.

So.

Medved is actually arguing that gay marriage with never work, because straight people can't make it work. And when a homosexual says "hey, I'd like the same rights that you have, after all, why should one person be allowed to go through marriages like potato chips and we're not even allowed a chance," what they're really saying is, "I'm better than you, straight person!"

He then throws a little more gasoline on the fire by sputtering some more tired old crap; you've heard it all before... equating gay marriage to nymphomania or porno addiction... "Man on Dog" Santorum would be proud. But really, he can't top that paragraph above.

We can't make it work, so why should you be allowed to, faggot? Quit getting so uppity!

As the national argument continues to rage regarding the proper social and governmental response to homosexuality, some of the advocates for radical change have unobtrusively but unmistakably shifted their campaign from a request for equal treatment to an assertion of innate superiority. They demand for gay impulses not the same treatment accorded to heterosexual desires, but far greater latitude and acceptance, along with uniquely privileged social sanction and legal endorsement.

Wow. My hat's off to you, sir. You are the Grand Poobah of Duh.

(Via Sadly, No!, who shortened Medved's "column" to:

"Advocates for gay marriage say it would encourage homosexuals to be monogamous, but why hasn’t it worked for heterosexuals? Wait – that’s not what I meant! Homosexuals think they’re better than you!"

As the kids say, Heh, indeed.)

Like School on a Sunday

2006-12-05T13:40:00.000-05:00

No class.

I'm sure you all remember the recent dustup between Jim Webb and Prezint Bulldoze McHeartlesson:

At a recent White House reception for freshman members of Congress, Virginia's newest senator tried to avoid President Bush. Democrat James Webb declined to stand in a presidential receiving line or to have his picture taken with the man he had often criticized on the stump this fall. But it wasn't long before Bush found him.

"How's your boy?" Bush asked, referring to Webb's son, a Marine serving in Iraq.

"I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President," Webb responded, echoing a campaign theme.

"That's not what I asked you," Bush said. "How's your boy?"

"That's between me and my boy, Mr. President," Webb said coldly, ending the conversation on the State Floor of the East Wing of the White House.

Well guess what. This wasn't simply a situation where Bush happened to bump into Webb and was trying to "extend a nice gesture," as O'Reilly harrumphed. Bush was briefed about meeting with Webb, and cautioned to be "extra sensitive."

But according to Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA), Bush was told that Webb’s son had a recent brush with death in Iraq and was warned to be “extra sensitive” when talking to the Sen.-elect. ThinkProgress yesterday spoke with Moran’s office and confirmed the congressman’s statement, first reported by hcc in VA:
Not only did Bush know about it, he was specifically briefed on the incident before meeting with Webb, and was cautioned to be extra sensitive in speaking with Webb about his son.

And yet, even with kid glove handling and specific briefing, he still managed to fuck it up. He specifically seeks out Webb, all frisky and feeling intelligent after his briefing, and gets all pissy when things don't go his way. Webb said something he didn't want to hear, and he immediately got snappish and petulant.

He's either still cranky over the elections, pining for Rummy, unconsciously embarrassed about his lack of military service or just plain old pissy about his biggest failure... but this is a "man" who can't take the slightest bit of criticism.

Webb has been called "classless," a boor," and worse by the Right. Well, what does that make Bush?

For the End Credit Blooper Reel...

2006-12-05T12:18:00.000-05:00

Jackie Chan Injured on "Rush Hour 3" Set

Damn it, Jackie... be more careful. Action movies will simply cease to exist if anything happens to you.

HONG KONG - Jackie Chan re-injured his chest while filming a fight scene for "Rush Hour 3," but doctors said it wasn't a major injury, the veteran action star says in an entry on his Web site.

Chan, 52, injured his chest in March when a stuntman wearing the wrong shoes kicked him during the shooting of a scene for his recent action comedy, "Rob-B-Hood."

This time, he was hit by a steel-reinforced wooden table, Chan said in a posting dated Nov. 27.

Chan said he tried to work through the pain, wearing a stunt belt across his upper chest and taking medication, but the movie's producers eventually sent him to a doctor. An X-ray cleared him of broken bones or organ injury, he said.

"I was in a lot of pain because it was in the same spot where I had gotten hurt during the filming of `Rob-B-Hood,'" he said.

Rob-B-Hood. Groan. I love Jackie unconditionally, but these "Hey, it's an Asian guy and a Non-Asian Guy thrust together into a wacky situation for some reason! They're on a collision course to zaniness!" movies just make me shudder. But frankly, Jackie could come out on screen and eat a bowl of cereal for two hours and I'd watch it.

Imagine the Gropinator or one of the other "action stars" getting hit with a table and going right back to work; refusing to see a doctor. Hell, just imagine them doing their own stunts in every film they make, no matter how dangerous. It wouldn't happen. That's why Jackie Chan is the greatest action star in the history of motion pictures. He is. Don't question me.

In the "Rush Hour" series, Chan plays a Hong Kong police officer and Chris Tucker portrays his Los Angeles counterpart, with the movie's humor drawing on cultural differences between the two.

Yeah, its hilarious. Let's go to the tape:

CrankyCritic®: Were you concerned about doing a sequel to Rush Hour?

Jackie Chan: I knew there was a sequel going on after part one finished. I don't think part one was a success. When I look at the film, I don't like it.

CrankyCritic®: Why not?

Jackie Chan: Just different. I am from Asia. I only know Asia. Rush Hour in Asia isn't a success compared to my old Jackie Chan films. Not funny, the action isn't good. For myself I look at and see there's another Big Brawl 20 years ago. Bye Bye. Then just boom, a big hit and I just don't know what happened. Then I realized oh, that's a very typical American film, very local. The dialogue was 'What's up Nigga?'. In Asia the whole theater goes huh? In the United States it's ha ha and everybody claps. From that time I know I have to make two kinds of films, one film for the American market and one film for my own market. My own market has been watching Jackie Chan films for so many years.

Jackie Chan, I love you, and I want to have your babies. So start being a little more careful, huh?

Update: For the record, "Rob-B-Hood" isn't an American flick. The groan was for the cheesy title.

Sobs with Joy

2006-12-04T17:44:00.000-05:00

Via Chet, (via skippy) we have one of the greatest things ever to grace the internets: The gethuman 500 database. Calling a company and want to speak directly to an actual human being? Here's how.

My usual tactic is to keep hitting zero until the system figures I'm too much of a dumbass to follow directions and sends me to an operator, but that involves a lot of listening to "I'm sorry, I don't understand your choice. Please enter again. Blahblahblah." Now you can skip everything.

The creators of this should win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Wow.

2006-12-04T16:19:00.000-05:00

Just.... wow.

Let me tell you something about niggers, the oppressed minority within our minority. Always down. Always out. Always complaining that they can't catch a break. Notoriously poor about doing for themselves. Constantly in need of a leader but unable to follow in any direction that's navigated by hard work, self-reliance. And though they spliff and drink and procreate their way onto welfare doles and WIC lines, niggers will tell you their state of being is no fault of their own. They are not responsible for their nearly 5 percent incarceration rate and their 9.2 percent unemployment rate. Not responsible for the 11.8 percent rate at which they drop out of high school. For the 69.3 percent of births they create out of wedlock.

Now, let me tell you something about my generation of black Americans. We are the inheritors of "the Deal" forced upon the entrenched white social, political, and legal establishment when my parents' generation won the struggle for civil rights. The Deal: We (blacks) take what is rightfully ours and you (the afore-described establishment) get citizens who will invest the same energy and dedication into raising families and working hard and being all around good people as was invested in snapping the neck of Jim Crow.

In the forty years since the Deal was brokered, since the Voting Rights Act was signed, there have been successes for blacks. But there are still too many blacks in prison, too many kids aggrandizing the thug life, and way too many African-Americans doing far too little with the opportunities others earned for them.

If we as a race could win the centuries-long war against institutionalized racism, why is it that so many of us cannot secure the advantage after decades of freedom?

That which retards us is the worst of "us," those who disdain actual ascendancy gained by way of intellectual expansion and physical toil—who instead value the posture of an "urban," a "street," a "real" existence, no matter that such a culture threatens to render them extinct.

"Them" being niggers.

Via Jill at Feministe, who has a few things to say.

Unhinged Lunatic President Out of Control

2006-12-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

...film at Eleven.

And no, I'm not talking about Chavez. Calm down, wingnuts.

Never one to rest on his laurels, Bush is continuing a six-year run of bad ideas with yet another really, really bad idea. He is considering ending the drilling ban in the Alaskan bay.

WASHINGTON - President Bush is deciding whether to lift a ban on oil and gas drilling in federal waters off Alaska's Bristol Bay, home to endangered whales and sea lions and the world's largest sockeye salmon run.

Leasing in a portion of the area rich in oil and natural gas ended nearly two decades ago — while Bush's father was president — in the outcry after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989.

But with natural gas prices higher, the Interior Department's Minerals Management Service proposed reopening up the North Aleutian Basin. That includes Bristol Bay and part of southeastern Bering Sea.

[...]

Environmentalists oppose drilling there because of the potential for oil spills and harm to wildlife. They have speculated in recent days that Bush might allow such drilling before Democrats regain control of Congress in January.

"If the Bush administration decides to allow drilling in Bristol Bay, it will simply illustrate the level to which they will sink to satisfy Big Oil," Carl Pope, the Sierra Club's executive director, said Saturday. "They are willing to risk a valuable, renewable resource like Bristol Bay's salmon fisheries for limited, shortsighted drilling plans."

Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass, a senior member of the House Resources Committee, said opening up Bristol Bay and expanding drilling off Florida's coast — a goal of House Republicans before losing power to Democrats — would amount to "a last minute giveaway of public lands as an early Christmas present to the big oil companies."

If there is anyone left that still sneers when people claim that Iraq was "all about the oil," here's a little more evidence to hopefully shut you up once and for all. Every single step of the Bush "presidency" has been about nothing but securing more power and money for the friends of Bush & Cheney.

Some 200 million barrels of crude oil, about what the U.S. imports every 16 days, are thought to be there. The agency estimates the region could yield 5 trillion cubic feet of natural gas — a quarter of all U.S. annual production.

So... all the oil will be used up in 16 days, and all of the natural gas will be gone in about three months? Or am I reading this wrong? I'm to understand that wasting all of this time, money, and resources on non-renewable resources is somehow more important than working on alternate, renewable sources of energy? Not to mention that, with the current seafood crisis, monkeying around with a valuable source of food might not be the smartest action.

Its findings are startling. A global study lead by Dalhousie's Boris Worm shows current trends projecting the collapse of all currently fished seafoods before 2050. The international group of ecologists and economists show that the loss of biodiversity is profoundly reducing the ocean's ability to produce seafood, resist diseases, filter pollutants, and rebound from stresses such as over-fishing and climate change.

The study, published in the November 3rd issue of the journal Science, reveals that every species lost causes a faster unraveling of the overall ecosystem. Conversely every species recovered adds significantly to overall productivity and stability of the ecosystem and its ability to withstand stresses.

"Whether we looked at tide pools or studies over the entire world's ocean, we saw the same picture emerging," says Dr. Worm. "In losing species we lose the productivity and stability of entire ecosystems. I was shocked and disturbed by how consistent these trends are -- beyond anything we suspected."

Damn scientists and their findings! They must be watching those damn liberal propaganda movies! No, not the Gore one, that other one!

Environmental groups said they are confident the new Democratic-controlled Congress would work to restore congressional protections on Bristol Bay.

You know what? It might not be a bad idea to give them a call, anyway. Jellyfish aren't just found in the sea anymore.

Drivin' for Jesus, Drivin' for Jesus, Makin' all the Lights!

2006-11-29T13:47:00.000-05:00

When the luscious and delightfully devilish Blue Gal sends you an email entitled "This is how bad it can get in Alabama," you know you'd better sit up and take notice.

As we all know, wingnuts love to get into hysterics about their perceived threats to America as a "Christian Nation." The Heretik's Dumbass du Jour got all bent out of shape about this, wailing that a Muslim taking his oath of office using the Koran somehow "undermines American civilization," while seeming to forget about little American details. These are the same "War on Christmas" people that are convinced if someone says "Happy Holidays" to them, the next thing they will do is force them to light a Menorah at gunpoint.

Of course, there are subtle ways of keeping America "Christian," and one way of doing that is by sneaking a little state-sponsored religion in right under people's noses and onto the rear ends of their cars.

But while the "W" stickers are waning, they have been replaced with something far more pernicious, in my opinion. Ladies and Gentleman, presenting Alabama's God Bless America License Plate:

I was just gonna comment how awful that jingo supporters of Bush have found a way to sneak in state-sponsored religion. Aw, isn't this just like "In God We Trust" on the money? Don't get me started. I'M A CHRISTIAN, GOD DAMMIT, AND THIS IS FUCKING OFFENSIVE TO ME.

Deep cleansing breaths.

So I'm looking up the image of this plate from the DMV and just guess what I find out. "God Bless America" is a STANDARD LICENSE PLATE. That means when you go in to get a plain old regular license plate you have a choice. You can get a passenger car plate, a motorcycle plate, a truck plate, a permanent trailer plate, or...a God Bless America plate. Go see for yourself. It's the only standard plate with a message, apart from "Stars fell on Alabama" (great song). No extra charge for God Bless America, and you get to choose it as a default at the Department of Motor Vehicles. No waiting. They will HAND YOU ONE from a pile when you pay the standard fee. No wonder I saw no fewer than eight of these on the school carpool run this morning.

Yeah, Christianity being erased from public life is something we really need to worry about in this country. It will be interesting to see if someone sues the state over this. Can you imagine the uproar if they had a similar Muslim plate?

I see stuff like this and I'm really tempted to run for Congress as a prank. I'd just put something in my positions on the issues regarding "eliminating tax exempt status for religious organizations" just to see how extreme the hysteria would become. Of course, I don't, because I enjoy breathing.

Meanwhile, Illinois' standard license plates include two that are, to me, relevant and important: "Persons with Disabilities" (Alabama also has one of these) and "Hearing Impaired." They've even got one for ham radio and "antique vehicle." It's only in the specialty license plates where we begin to see any flag waving with the "America Remembers" plate:

By purchasing the America Remembers License Plates, you help aid victims of terrorism and local governments for training, equipment and other items related to public safety initiatives intended to prevent further acts of terrorism or other disasters or emergency situations in Illinois.

There is a $40 original issuance fee, $25 of this fee is donated to the September 11th Fund, and also a $27 additional fee at renewal, with $25 of this fee being donated to the September 11th Fund.

Gee, they managed to salute the victims of 9/11, support public safety, and donate to the September 11th fund without mentioning God once. They must have had rocket scientists working on that plate! I'm sure they stayed away from statements like "God Bless America" because religious sentiment has no place on state license plates. That's what bumper stickers are for.

Oops, sorry, bumper magnets. Wouldn't want to apply any permanence to that sentiment on your slick paint job.

Hmm... Illinois has a "pet friendly" plate. I'll have to remember that.

Anyway, BlueGal continues with one of the weirdest license plates I've ever seen; I seriously thought she was throwing it in there as a prank at first. It's the "Atomic Nuked" plate.

Get this: If you are a veteran who was exposed to an atomic bomb blast in the line of duty, you have to pay three dollars to get a special plate for yourself. I looked this up because I thought it was sort of odd that in the price list it says, "Nuked Veteran." Nuked, like the noodles I had for lunch. They wouldn't actually put that on a license plate, though, and then charge three dollars to someone who was exposed to nuclear radiation defending our country, for the privilege of having it on his/her car...

Oh, but indeed they do, Virginia... along with the insulting description, "Atomic Nuked."

As I said to Blue Gal, "Gee, I wonder if they'll have a 'Limbless Veteran' one?" You know, since we're being all sensitive and everything.

Nahh, that'll have to be a bumper sticker, too. They can put it next to the "I went to Iraq and all I got was this lousy disfigurement" one, along with the "Benefits-Slashed Veteran" one. It's a nice way to decorate your home when you're living out of your car.

Ed Rogers: Greaseball

2006-11-29T10:54:00.000-05:00

Nice. Be prepared for scads of this in the next few years. After their humiliating defeat, the unctuous conservatives are going to be pulling out all of the stops.

Your "Liberal Media" in action. Bring back the Fairness Doctrine! The fact that this buttfor can sit there and spout this garbage, unchallenged, is ridiculous.

"Nobody knows anything about him." Jesus. Because he does so much hiding from the spotlight, right Rogers?

Don't Fuck with the Bubble

2006-11-29T10:30:00.000-05:00

Looks like Prezint Touchy McCrankypants is getting upset that his fabricated war isn't the non-stop blowjob he was convinced it was going to be. Goldarn it, where's that constant praise I'm used to?

President Bush has pledged to work with the new Democratic majorities in Congress, but he has already gotten off on the wrong foot with Jim Webb, whose surprise victory over Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) tipped the Senate to the Democrats.

Webb, a decorated former Marine officer, hammered Allen and Bush over the unpopular war in Iraq while wearing his son’s old combat boots on the campaign trail. It seems the president may have some lingering resentment.

At a private reception held at the White House with newly elected lawmakers shortly after the election, Bush asked Webb how his son, a Marine lance corporal serving in Iraq, was doing.

Webb responded that he really wanted to see his son brought back home, said a person who heard about the exchange from Webb.

“I didn’t ask you that, I asked how he’s doing,” Bush retorted, according to the source.

Webb confessed that he was so angered by this that he was tempted to slug the commander-in-chief, reported the source, but of course didn’t. It’s safe to say, however, that Bush and Webb won’t be taking any overseas trips together anytime soon.

Or, "Don't remind me that I'm a failure, you!"

Bipartisanship!

Reaching across the aisle!

Supporting the troops!

What a guy!

UPDATE: D'oh! Psychic mind-meld!

More Update: Bobby sez:

Here's a bit of unsolicited advice for Mr. Webb: if the White House offers you a "fact-finding" trip to Guantanamo Bay, don't go.

(Energy Dome tip to C&L)

"Power Hungry" Doesn't Begin to Cover it

2006-11-29T10:06:00.000-05:00

-What do you wanna do today, Dick?
-The same thing we do every day, Bushy. Try to take over the world!
-Narf!

The Boston Globe has an excellent article up detailing Dick Cheney's ongoing Executive power grab that's been going on since the Nixon years.

The Iran-contra scandal was not the first time the future vice president articulated a philosophy of unfettered executive power -- nor would it be the last. The Constitution empowers Congress to pass laws regulating the executive branch, but over the course of his career, Cheney came to believe that the modern world is too dangerous and complex for a president's hands to be tied. He embraced a belief that presidents have vast "inherent" powers, not spelled out in the Constitution, that allow them to defy Congress.

Cheney bypassed acts of Congress as defense secretary in the first Bush administration. And his office has been the driving force behind the current administration's hoarding of secrets, its efforts to impose greater political control over career officials, and its defiance of a law requiring the government to obtain warrants when wiretapping Americans. Cheney's staff has also been behind President Bush's record number of signing statements asserting his right to disregard laws.

[...]

Peter Shane, an Ohio State University law professor, predicted that Cheney's long career of consistently pushing against restrictions on presidential power is likely to culminate in a series of uncompromising battles with Congress.

"Cheney has made this a matter of principle," Shane said. "For that reason, you are likely to hear the words 'executive privilege' over and over again during the next two years."

Indeed; he's got his little dictatorship moving along nicely, and he's not about to give that up without a fight. Give it a look.

Of course, the same question always pops in my head when I read something like this: "Where the hell was this article in 2004? Hell, in 2000?"

I'm Cold, and There are Wolves After Me

2006-11-28T13:44:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I've taken on the bucket of sleaze MSNBC series, "To Catch A Predator," in a few very long-winded posts. (The disclaimer in both of these posts still applies, natch. Please don't accuse me of supporting pedophiles.)

Part the First

Part the Second

Part the Third

Part the Fourth

In the second post, I expressed my concern that shows like "Predator" combined with the general hysteria and hand-wringing over "child molesters" that is currently getting a lot of airplay would eventually lead to a witch hunt mentality that would be good for no one. In the third, I showed how this very mentality resulted in a very real death. The fourth showed a "creative" punishment for a sex offender that would probably lead to a "creative" beating.

A major component of this issue is the fact that the term "registered sex offender" has become synonymous with "pedophile." Needless to say, the terms are hardly interchangeable. That, combined with the extremely elastic and vague definition for R.S.O.s, is trouble waiting to happen.

Well, guess what? Some new feel-good, "keeping our children safe" legislation is starting to cause problems. Apparently, draconian "one size fits all" laws aren't exactly a magical band-aid that will heal all wounds. Go figure. (Bolds mine)

Some Curbs on Sex Offenders Called Inhumane, Ineffective

As convicted sex offenders go, they seem to pose little danger.

One is 100 years old. Another can barely walk and is in the late stages of Alzheimer's disease. Another is dying of heart disease in a nursing home.

Yet under a new Georgia law, thousands of registered sex offenders, even the old and feeble, could be pushed from their homes and hospices.

"He doesn't really know anything about it," said Ruby Anderson, 77, whose husband was convicted of having sex with a minor in 1997 and, at 81, no longer recognizes members of his family because of Alzheimer's disease. "The trouble is, I just don't know where we can go."

As states around the country have sought in recent years to control the whereabouts of convicted sex offenders, Georgia's law stands out as one of the toughest, a testament to the daunting public fears regarding children's safety.

And there's the money quote. "Public fears" might not be quite so intense if shows like "Predator" weren't fanning the flames of hysteria; making it seem as if every child in America is constantly being approached by potential pedophiles. Having your Secretary of State encourage you to check the Sex Offender registry online might get your paranoia percolating as well. And when the public starts a-yellin, the politicians start a-legislatin'. Well, if it's a nice, family friendly issue that will make you look good during your re-election campaign, that is.

The roughly 10,000 sex offenders living in Georgia have been forbidden to live within 1,000 feet of a school, playground, church or school bus stop. Taken together, the prohibitions place nearly all the homes in some counties off-limits -- amounting, in a practical sense, to banishment.

"My intent personally is to make it so onerous on those that are convicted of these offenses . . . they will want to move to another state," Georgia House Majority Leader Jerry Keen (R), who sponsored the bill, told reporters.

Got that? This is nothing but running the undesirables out of town. If you're a convicted sex offender - and the nature of your crime isn't important - Keen expressly states he wants to make your life such a living hell, that you'd rather leave the state than try and live your life. Can't afford it? Don't want to leave your job (if you still manage to have one, after being branded with the R.S.O. scarlet letter) or your family? Too old or ill to leave? Or perhaps you're (dare I say it?) innocent?

Tough. Get out of our state, you. We don't like your kind around here.

Can you say "cruel and unusual?" Can you say "setting a dangerous precedent?"

I wonder how the good people in Florda, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina and Tennessee feel about Keen's little plan?

Since the law's enactment in July, however, a federal judge, human rights advocates and even some of the sheriff's departments that are supposed to enforce the measure have suggested that the zeal for safety may have gone too far.

The residency law applies not only to sexual predators but to all people registered for sexual crimes, including men and women convicted of having underage consensual sex while in high school.

Advocates for the sex offenders say the law is unfair to people who have served their sentences and been deemed rehabilitated. Many police officers, prosecutors and children's advocates also question whether such measures are effective. Most predators are mobile, after all, and by upending their lives, the law may make them more likely to commit other offenses, critics say.

"We should be concerned when we pass laws for political purposes that are irrational," said Sarah Geraghty, a staff lawyer for the Southern Center for Human Rights, the Atlanta-based group that filed court actions against the law's provisions. "This law will essentially render thousands of ex-offenders homeless, and that's just going to make them harder to monitor."

Exactly. Regardless of how someone may feel about R.S.O.'s, they have to admit that this is simply bad legislation. Not only does it paint minor and major offenses with the same brush, it is, in effect, making it easier for R.S.O.'s to commit another offense. Not to mention that the depression and desperation that goes hand in hand with homelessness would probably increase the chances of more crimes being committed.

But hey, if they're not in your state, who gives a fuck, right?

This month, Californians voted to bar sex offenders from living within 2,000 feet of schools or parks -- though a federal judge quickly blocked that provision.

In Iowa, which in 2002 became one of the first states to impose residency restrictions, police and prosecutors have united in opposition to the law, saying that it drives offenders underground and that there is "no demonstrated protective effect," according to a statement by the Iowa County Attorneys Association, which represents prosecutors.

"The law was well-intentioned, but we don't see any evidence of a connection between where a person lives and where they might offend," said Corwin R. Ritchie, executive director of the group.

[...]

Enforcing the law consumes lots of law enforcement time, he said, and leads some offenders to list interstate rest stops or Wal-Mart parking lots as their addresses.

"Our concern is that these laws may give a false sense of security," said Carolyn Atwell-Davis, director of legislative affairs for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. "We're not aware of any evidence that residency restrictions have prevented a child from being victimized."

Not all sexual offenses are related to children. Placing residence restrictions around these areas is simply playing into the pedophile paranoia that surrounds R.S.O.s and creating a false sense of security for parents. Imposing restrictions doesn't put up magical invisible barriers that somehow keep pedophiles away from schools and parks. And are we expected to believe that pedophiles only approach children at schools and parks, where they are more than likely to be accompanied by an adult? This is a gross example of cheap talk to placate worried parents. And frankly, if I were a parent, I'd be right pissed that Keen apparently took my real concerns so lightly.

Here are some other folks that might be pretty pissed at Keen right now:

Among those swept up under its definition of sex offender are a 26-year-old woman who was caught engaging in oral sex when she was in high school, and a mother of five who was convicted of being a party to a crime of statutory rape because, her indictment alleged, she did not do enough to stop her 15-year-old daughter's sexual activity.

If you have a 15-year-old daughter, what are the chances that you won't live within 1000 feet of a school, playground, church or school bus stop? It's ridiculous that these two women should be lumped in with the worst sex offenders in the first place, but to then give them no other option than to leave the state is vicious. Keen, however, simply can't wait to rub it in how little he cares.

Keen and other advocates have defended the legislation, calling it above all an effort to protect children.

Any time a politician says "this is for the children," they really mean "this is for my public image." This law does bugger all to protect children.

"We felt if we were going to err on any side, we were going to err on the side of protecting the innocent rather than those who have already been convicted," he said.

Again, regardless of the nature of the crime committed, if you're convicted, you're fucked. And if you yourself are innocent of the crime you're convicted of, what then?

He has no plans to alter it. As for those who feel it unfairly targets them, he said they can petition the local school board to move the bus stop.

Is he serious? That is a completely snide statement to make; oozing with holier-than-thou contempt. That's the verbal equivalent of kicking them when they're down. Christ, what an asshole.

Although the legal actions have focused attention on the rights of convicted sex offenders, he noted, the victims "have been given a life sentence."

"There's not a day goes by, if you pick up a newspaper or turn on the TV, that you don't see these crimes continue to happen," he said.

What sanctimonious claptrap. Yes, people that are real victims of sexual crimes have been "given a life sentence." However, some of these "crimes" have occurred between consenting adults, and there is no "victim." I simply cannot stand these appalling, heartstring-plucking, family-friendly soundbites that have nothing to do with justice or protection.

For those affected by the law, however, it seems to have reached too far.

"Every other block, there's a church," Ruby Anderson said. "Where can we go? I've checked."

Her husband, who was a janitor, was charged with statutory rape in 1996 for having sex with a girl younger than 14. He pleaded guilty on one count and was sentenced to probation, according to Houston County court records.

"At this late date for him, the law is very unfair," Ruby Anderson said. "He doesn't have any recollection of what happened."

Well, Ms. Anderson, you can go anywhere you like. As long as it isn't in Georgia. I'm sure Jerry Keen has plenty of suggestions. Well, one, anyway.

Colour

2006-11-22T16:57:00.000-05:00

Usually I'm pretty skeptical and critical of advertising, but this is one of the most beautiful ads I've seen in a long time.

Even with the clown running through it.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to my friend Kobb.)

Random Grousing

2006-11-22T14:35:00.000-05:00

I was wrong.

This is the day before Thanksgiving; how foolish of me. I should have known that the top stories everywhere would be the same two goddamn stories we see every year:

1. "Gosh! A lot of people are traveling! Look at all these people waiting! Let's hear what they have to say about their wait!"

2. "Gosh! A lot of people are shopping! Here's how to best deal with the crowds!"

Cut and paste in 2007.

And by the way, isn't it about time we gave this stupid tradition the heave-ho? I'm sure after doing this, the President just has a nice salad the next day, right?

He Still Didn't Get It! Ha, Ha!

2006-11-22T12:08:00.000-05:00

I'm with Rox. I'm thankful that I can get clean drinking water any time I like. I'm also thankful that I don't live in such desperation that I have to run for blocks in intense heat in the hopes that I might get a sip of water being dangled by a sadistic asshole.

I can't imagine why Iraq wants us to fuck off and go home.

I wonder what all the people these kids passed are thinking, and what they'll think the next time they're around a soldier in a vulnerable position?

I wonder how these kids are going to feel about America when they grow up?

And what will they tell their kids?

UPDATE: I should point out, as a commenter stated over at The Smirking Chimp, that these may not be American Soldiers. They might be contractors. However, that distinction won't matter much to these children, and the people observing, and every Iraqi that hears about this incident.

(Tip of the Energy Dome to The Smirking Chimp)

Wanker McWankyson

2006-11-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

Oh, Richard Cohen... you never fail to jawdrop.

Daily I read the casualty list from Iraq -- and I invent reasons to make the deaths less tragic. This is a hopeless, maybe tasteless, task, but it matters to me if someone is a career soldier who knew what he was getting into as opposed to some naive kid digitally juiced on a computerized version of war -- or, even sadder, some guardsman who enlisted for God, country or spare cash, but not by any means for Baghdad. He's a volunteer, all right, but not for a war that didn't exist when he raised his right hand and took the oath.

Chet SMASH!

Place Yer Bets

2006-11-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

Two Stories:

Iraqi Deaths Hit New High

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S. President George W. Bush will meet Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki in Jordan next week with grim new statistics showing record numbers of Iraqis were killed last month and many more fled the country.

A U.N. report put civilian deaths in October at 3,709 -- 120 a day and up from 3,345 in September. Nearly 420,000 moved to other parts of Iraq since the February bombing of a Shi'ite shrine in Samarra triggered a surge in sectarian attacks.

It said as well as those displaced within Iraq, nearly 100,000 people were fleeing to
Syria and Jordan every month -- proportionally equivalent to a million Americans emigrating each month, depriving the U.S. economy of a city the size of Detroit.

The meeting between Bush and Maliki in the Jordanian capital Amman, a much safer venue than Baghdad, will follow a weekend visit to Iran by Iraqi President Jalal Talabani and this week's landmark visit to Iraq by Syria's foreign minister.

They will be the first lengthy talks between Bush and Maliki since Bush pledged a new approach on Iraq after his Democratic opponents took control of the U.S. Congress.

Close to 4,000 people a month. This is horrific.

And indeed, they want to be in a safer venue than Baghdad. We wouldn't want something to happen like what happened to poor Not-Jenna...

First Daughter's Purse Swiped

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina (CNN) -- First daughter Barbara Bush's purse was stolen while she was in Argentina with her twin sister, Jenna, a law enforcement source who was briefed on the incident said Tuesday.

The source told CNN that Barbara Bush, 24, was "not in the immediate proximity" of the bag when it was swiped.

Other reports said Bush's purse and cell phone were taken while she was dining in a Buenos Aires restaurant.

The law enforcement source declined to provide additional details to CNN but said that "at no point were the protectees out of visual contact and at no point was there any risk of harm."

Well, thank heavens there was no risk of harm... if only we could provide some sort of protection to Iraqi innocents so they were in no risk of harm.

Oh, wait.

So... which of these stories do you think you'll hear more about in the news today?

Penguins Are Good! Except When They're Liberal Penguins!

2006-11-21T17:03:00.000-05:00

We'd better find food quickly, or Neil Cavuto will hate us.

Remember when conservatives got all teary-eyed about March of the Penguins, saying it was full of "conservative values," it's a parable of steadfast Christian faith, and it promoted monogamy and all that stuff? Well, there was also this little tidbit:

In part, the movie's appeal to conservatives may lie in its soft-pedaling of topics like evolution and global warming. The filmmakers say they did not consciously avoid those topics - indeed, they say they are strong believers in evolutionary theory - but they add that they wanted to create a film that would reach as many people as possible.

"It's obvious that global warming has an impact on the reproduction of the penguins," Luc Jacquet, the director, told National Geographic Online. "But much of public opinion appears insensitive to the dangers of global warming. We have to find other ways to communicate to people about it, not just lecture them."

Well, we've got Happy Feet now, and guess what? They might just be onto something with that "soft-pedaling global warming" stuff. Apparently, it's not so much what you hear, it's what you don't hear.

The #1 movie in the country, the animated film “Happy Feet,” is “an entertaining story about a young bird’s journey toward self-acceptance.” But to Fox News’ Neil Cavuto it’s insidious “far left” political propaganda.

Cavuto saw the movie with his sons and found it “offensive.” Cavuto objected to the fact that penguins in the movie have trouble finding food because of overfishing and oil drilling. Cavuto called the film “an animated ‘Inconvenient Truth.’ I half expected to see an animated version of Al Gore pop-up.”

Yeah! Because overfishing and oil drilling are made-up liberal "problems" that don't exist! And children should be shielded from this kind of fiction! P.S.- I hate Al Gore.

Carpetbagger points out how conservatives seem to have an ongoing problem with cartoon characters; you're all familiar with the hoopla surrounding Tinky-Winky, Spongebob, and the usual gang of suspected homosexuals. I just find it completely ridiculous that Neil Cavuto actually has the chutzpah to say he was offended by the "far left political propaganda" in what is, let's face it, a silly movie featuring singing, dancing penguins. Come on, practically everyone on the freakin' planet is concerned about overfishing, oil drilling, and global warming, except for Cavuto and his boneheaded ilk. This is hardly "far left" anymore.

It's so... insidious to touch on a global problem in an animated film. We wouldn't want kids to think or learn, would we?

"Insidious." Christ.

A Great Wailing and Gnashing of Nerd Teeth

2006-11-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

And lo, the geeks did howl and scream and gibber, throwing their 20-sided dice at the walls and ripping the heads off their Frodo action figures, which was fine, because they were already out of the box and weren't MOC anymore.

Peter Jackson Says he Won't be Making "Hobbit"

WELLINGTON, New Zealand -
Peter Jackson says he will not be directing a movie based on J.R.R. Tolkien's novel "The Hobbit" or a planned prequel to "The Lord of the Rings."

In a letter posted Tuesday on Theonering.com., Jackson and partner Fran Walsh said an executive from New Line Cinema had called to tell them the studio was moving ahead with "The Hobbit" without him.

"Last week, Mark Ordesky called Ken (Kamins, Jackson's manager) and told him that New Line would no longer be requiring our services on `The Hobbit' and the LOTR `prequel,'" the 45-year-old New Zealand director wrote.

"This was a courtesy call to let us know that the studio was now actively looking to hire another filmmaker for both projects," he said.

[...]

The announcement came amid an ongoing dispute between Wingnut Films and New Line Cinema over the amount Jackson was paid for "The Fellowship of the Ring," including DVD payments.

While Jackson hasn't said how much he believes he was underpaid, The New York Times last year quoted his lawyers as saying it was as much as $100 million. He is suing New Line Cinema over the shortfall.

The Dominion Post newspaper quoted Jackson as saying that because he and Walsh didn't want to discuss upcoming movies "until the lawsuit is resolved, the studio is going to have to hire another director."

"We are very sorry our involvement with `The Hobbit' has ended this way," the pair added.

Plans for Jackson to make a $128 million movie version of the sci-fi video game "Halo" were also scrapped this month after backers 20th Century Fox and Universal Pictures pulled out.

Somewhere, little Ricky Santorum is clutching his Gollum plush tightly to his chest, and weeping bitter, bitter tears.

Newsflash: Glimmer of Human Intelligence Sighted

2006-11-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

Wow, good taste may still exist.

O.J. Simpson Book, TV Special Canceled

NEW YORK - After a firestorm of criticism, News. Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and television special "If I Did It."

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. "We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson."

A dozen Fox affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before the Nov. 30 publication of the book by ReganBooks. The publishing house is a HarperCollins imprint owned — like the Fox network — by News Corp.

[...]

Judith Regan, publisher of "If I Did It," said she considered the book to be Simpson's confession.

The television special was to air on two of the final three nights of the November sweeps, when ratings are watched closely to set local advertising rates. It has been a particularly tough fall for Fox, which has seen none of its new shows catch on and is waiting for the January bows of "American Idol" and "24."

Wow, Rupert Murdoch eats crow. Chisel this date in stone.

The downside of all of this is that Judith Regan can't donate the proceeds of this "book" to organizations that serve abused women.

It wouldn't kill her to send a little donation their way anyway, just to cleanse her karma from agreeing to publish this slime in the first place. FOX might want to try it, too. Good for the soul, and all that.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Deeky.)

Second Verse, Same as the First

2006-11-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

They Just. Can't. Fucking. Learn.

CIA Analysis Finds Iran Not Developing Nuclear Weapons

Washington - A classified draft CIA assessment has found no firm evidence of a secret drive by Iran to develop nuclear weapons, as alleged by the White House, a top US investigative reporter has said.

Seymour Hersh, writing in an article for the November 27 issue of the magazine The New Yorker released in advance, reported on whether the administration of Republican President George W. Bush was more, or less, inclined to attack Iran after Democrats won control of Congress last week.

A month before the November 7 legislative elections, Hersh wrote, Vice President Dick Cheney attended a national-security discussion that touched on the impact of Democratic victory in both chambers on Iran policy.

"If the Democrats won on November 7th, the vice president said, that victory would not stop the administration from pursuing a military option with Iran," Hersh wrote, citing a source familiar with the discussion.

Cheney said the White House would circumvent any legislative restrictions "and thus stop Congress from getting in its way," he said.

The Democratic victory unleashed a surge of calls for the Bush administration to begin direct talks with Iran.

But the administration's planning of a military option was made "far more complicated" in recent months by a highly classified draft assessment by the Central Intelligence Agency "challenging the White House's assumptions about how close Iran might be to building a nuclear bomb," he wrote.

"The CIA found no conclusive evidence, as yet, of a secret Iranian nuclear-weapons program running parallel to the civilian operations that Iran has declared to the International Atomic Energy Agency," Hersh wrote, adding the CIA had declined to comment on that story.

A current senior intelligence official confirmed the existence of the CIA analysis and said the White House had been hostile to it, he wrote.

Cheney and his aides had discounted the assessment, the official said.

"They're not looking for a smoking gun," the official was quoted as saying, referring to specific intelligence about Iranian nuclear planning.

"They're looking for the degree of comfort level they think they need to accomplish the mission."

Bolds mine.

So much for "bipartisanship," huh? The Bush Administration continues to do whatever the fuck it wants, regardless of what anyone else says. Ignoring the wishes of the voters, ignoring their elected members of congress, ignoring the vast majority of Americans that are now against the Iraq war... they'll do as they please, and screw the consequences.

Can we all please just get on the same page and agree that Dick Cheney is a sociopath? I know this has been shown before on dozens of blogs, but let's just look at the DSM-IV definition:

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a manual widely used within the United States for diagnosing mental and behavioral disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain steady work or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

Batting a thousand, if you ask me.

Cherry pick the evidence you like, and send thousands off to die. I wouldn't let this man cook my breakfast, and he's playing tiddlywinks with the lives of millions of innocents all over the globe.

I don't know if this is about Halliburton or profits anymore. It looks like we've gone beyond the simple pursuit of money and power; this is just insanity.

I'm Shaken, Not Stirred

2006-11-17T14:02:00.000-05:00

I'm not the world's biggest Bond fan. I'm one of those "I like the Connery movies," people; will watch a Bond film if it's on, but don't rent or buy the movies, and I'm not necessarily going to catch a new Bond film in the theaters.

That said:

Great day in the morning! *Dials moviefone*

I've got to say, I find it rather amusing that Casino Royale was originally a screwball comedy. Woody Allen and flying saucers!

Accountability, Bitchez

2006-11-17T12:50:00.000-05:00

As you probably recall, Laura Ingraham, the human nasal passage, was indulging in a little election day tomfoolery on the 7th. Apparently, she wasn't worried about anyone calling her out on election tampering.

Well, guess what?

Boy, it would be nice to see her and Coulter sharing a cell. It's time for these wingnut pundits to be held to the same standard as everyone else in the country.

"They Want Ignorance to Rule So They Can Have Control"

2006-11-17T11:11:00.000-05:00

The "Education President" strikes again. If the youth of Iraq have one thing to cling to, it would be the prospects of a good education for themselves. And now, even that possibility is beginning to crumble.

Iraqi Students Fear Death of Education System

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Maha Nidal's voice is tinged with bitterness and sorrow as she looks around the campus courtyard at her fellow students milling around. The sight is a blend of Iraq's various religious sects --some girls in headscarves, others looking like they walked out of the pages of a fashion magazine.

"The future? The future is a dream. We only live in the now. There is no future," the 21-year-old student says.

This university, with its sprawling green campus, once was abuzz with activity. Now it is covered in the layer of grime and dust that seems to blanket all of Baghdad.

Like most of the students at Baghdad University, Maha lives in fear. But now, after the mass kidnapping at the Ministry of Higher Education this week, she lives not only in fear of the violence, but in fear of losing the one thing that will determine her future -- her education. (Watch Maha describe the lack of hope Iraqi students have -- 2:17 Video)

When she heard that the education ministry was thinking of shutting down the university, her world -- already shattered -- crumbled.

"You can't imagine what we felt, I saw our future destroyed," she says. "How do you know that a future of a country ... has been destroyed? It's when there is no justice, no security, and no education, if you reach the stage of no studies and no education. And when you lose that, that's it, the people are finished.

"There is no future."

[...]
One does not have to look further than the empty hallways and deserted classrooms to see the toll that the violence is taking on Iraq's educated moderate minds. The students say that on a good day, 40 percent of their classmates show up. More often than not, their professors are not around. Most of the senior professors have fled the country or have been killed.
"The head of my department was killed last year," Maha says. "Gunmen came to his house and killed him. And that was hard for us. He was like one of the students; he kept us strong."
He also gave her hope.
Many of the students here are aware that extremist elements want to divide Iraqi society and drive out secular moderates.
"This is what they want -- the gunmen, the terrorists, any force right now with its hands in destruction wants this -- no education," Maha says. "No learning, no future, for ignorance to rule so that they can have control."
The impact of the academic destruction, as one Iraqi education official put it, could kill this struggling nation.

You'll definitely want to watch the video.

So, everything that could possibly bring "freedom" to Iraq is being systematically destroyed. If you're not being shot in the street, you're losing the possibility of building a future for yourself with higher education. It's becoming more and more obvious that Bush's idea of "freedom" rests on a "free election" or two, it has nothing to do with infrastructure, protection, or education. The idea that a man who made it into Yale due to his family name, and then systematically pissed away his higher education, could then go on to destroy the educational future of thousands of people is maddening.

I'm a Total Wanker, and Yet, I'm on Television

2006-11-16T12:05:00.000-05:00

Glenn Beck, proving once again that he's a complete twit that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a television camera:

On the November 14 edition of his CNN Headline News program, Glenn Beck interviewed Rep.-elect Keith Ellison (D-MN), who became the first Muslim ever elected to Congress on November 7, and asked Ellison if he could "have five minutes here where we're just politically incorrect and I play the cards up on the table." After Ellison agreed, Beck said: "I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.' " Beck added: "I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."

To his credit, Ellison didn't simply call Beck a racist ass and walk off the set (I'm sure he knew what was coming, since Beck prefaced his comment with a stammering "I sure love Muslims!" softening statement); he gave a very intelligent response, when he could have replied, "Glenn, you are a cheerleader for the Bush administration, who lied us into a war and has created more terrorists daily than I've had hot dinners. Why don't you prove to me that you aren't working with our enemies? You douchebag."

ELLISON: Well, let me tell you, the people of the Fifth Congressional District know that I have a deep love and affection for my country. There's no one who is more patriotic than I am. And so, you know, I don't need to -- need to prove my patriotic stripes.

BECK: I understand that. And I'm not asking you to. I'm wondering if you see that. You come from a district that is heavily immigrant with Somalians. And I think it's wonderful, honestly, I think it is really a good sign that you are a -- you could be an icon to show Europe, this is the way you integrate into a country. I think the Somalians coming out and voting is a very good thing. With that --

Yes, you are asking him to. You just did. Prefacing it with "what I feel like saying is" doesn't change the fact that you asked an American Congressman to prove he's not a terrorist because of his religion. Ass.

I'm still amazed that CNN is still spending money putting this sputtering, embarrassing blowhard on camera. "Prove you're not a terrorist." Christ.

Seriously, how do I get his job? Apparently, you don't need to know your ass from a hole in the ground to get on television these days.

Update: Heh. Thank you, David.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Crooks & Liars)

Bill Stickers, Ace Detective

2006-11-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

So, the FBI went to search Chad Conrad Castagana's house, the right-wing loon that sent white powder to Keith Olbermann and a bunch of other people that he hated. It's interesting that in the affidavit from the FBI, one of the things searched for was "Anti-Semitic literature and/or left-wing hate rhetoric."

Because, you know, Castagana was so left-wing, and the left is totally known for eliminationist rhetoric. Not like his idols, Coulter and Malkin, at all.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, Malkin is still ignoring the whole thing. Huh. Color me shocked.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Sadly, No!)

Just When You Thought it Was Safe

2006-11-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

...he sleazes his way back in.

Trent Lott Wins Back Leadership Slot

WASHINGTON - Sen. Trent Lott, ousted from the top Senate Republican leadership job four years ago because of remarks considered racially insensitive, won election to the No. 2 post Wednesday for the minority GOP in the next Congress.

Lott returned to the center of power by getting the position of vote-counting GOP whip, nosing out Sen. Lamar Alexander. Sen. Rick Santorum told reporters that Lott beat Alexander by a 25-24 vote.

After an intense evening in which both men lobbied colleagues during floor votes, the Republican caucus elected Lott, a one-time whip and majority leader, by secret ballot. Lott will be the GOP's second-in-command to Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, who was elected unanimously to be the Senate minority leader in the new Congress.

By secret ballot. But of course.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Doesn't he have a house to rebuild? Something else that can keep him busy? All that porch sitting with Bush isn't going to happen on its own, you know.

WTF?

2006-11-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

This wins my WTF? of the year award.

OJ Simpson to Discuss Killings

LOS ANGELES - In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. Its the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

The book is published by ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers run by Regan.

Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.

Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not returned Tuesday night.

Read my new book: "If I did It: Not that I'm saying I did, mind you, just hypothetically, and why are you looking at me like that? Back off, asshole."

Seriously... WTF?

I guess those golf outings won't just pay for themselves...

UPDATE: As Angelos points out, there's been a slight title change. (Watch the video)

"Go to a Proper University"

2006-11-14T14:56:00.000-05:00

Just watch.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to One Good Move.)

It Must Be Nice to Live in Fantasy Land

2006-11-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

Parenting is hard work.

"Caged Kids" Case Begins Jury Selection

NORWALK, Ohio - Jury selection began Tuesday in the trial of a couple accused of making some of their 11 adopted special needs children sleep in cages.

Michael and Sharen Gravelle are charged with 16 counts of felony child endangering and if convicted could face one to five years in prison and a maximum fine of $10,000 for each count.

The process of seating a jury in Huron County Common Pleas Court could take days, with 100 people yet to be questioned.

Earlier, about 350 potential jurors were sent questionnaires, and 250 were weeded out because of bias or other issues, said Ken Myers, who represents Sharen Gravelle.

Myers still has a motion pending to move the trial to out of Huron County, arguing there is too much publicity for the Gravelles to get a fair trial in the mostly rural northern Ohio county.

He said he is seeking "a jury that is willing to set aside some of the things that they've heard."

Yeah, because then you'll be able to find people that are able to turn a blind eye to the fact that your clients locked children in cages. Good luck with that.

"There is no case. We're going to win this thing," said lawyer Richard Drucker, who represents Michael Gravelle. "I think we have a good shot at having a fair and impartial jury."

Huron County Prosecutor Russell Leffler said he's "looking for an intelligent jury."

The last thing they want is an intelligent jury. Hell, the last thing they would want is a jury. Because there is a case, and they're not going to win. Drucker's clients are monsters. If he's lucky, he'll get a jury that will only slap them on the wrist with that pathetic one to five years.

But, you know, "A" for effort and all that. "We're going to win this thing." I love the dismissal.

The Gravelles have denied mistreating the children, who were ages 1 to 15 at the time of the alleged endangering. The youngsters were placed in foster care last fall after a county social worker likened the wood and chicken-wire enclosures in the Gravelle home to cages to kennels.

The Gravelles have repeatedly said the enclosures were necessary to keep the children from harming themselves or one another. The children have problems such as fetal alcohol syndrome and a disorder that involves eating nonfood items.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that jury room. I hope they enjoy prison orange.

The Gravelles lost permanent custody in March and have not be granted visitation since then, Myers said.

Well, thank goodness for small favors.

How long do you think it will take for them to switch to an insanity plea?

Holy Crap

2006-11-14T13:37:00.000-05:00

Gunmen Kidnap Scores at Baghdad Office

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Gunmen dressed as police commandos kidnapped scores of staff and visitors in a lightning raid on an education ministry office Tuesday in one of the biggest mass abductions since the start of the U.S. occupation. Five senior police officers — including the neighborhood police chief — were arrested, the government said.

At least 82 people were killed or found dead in murders, bombings and clashes nationwide.

Alaa Makki, head of parliament's education committee, interrupted the legislative session Tuesday morning to say that between 100 and 150 people, both Shiites and Sunnis, had been abducted in the 9:30 a.m. raid at the ministry offices, calling the kidnapping a "national catastrophe."

Abed Theyab, the higher education minister, told parliament he had repeatedly petitioned for more university security from the ministries of Defense and Interior, who command the police, but had received none.

Sorry, Can't Hear You Over All These Crickets Chirping

2006-11-13T14:39:00.000-05:00

Well, as I'm sure you've heard by now, the FBI caught the bozo that sent an envelope of white powder to Keith Olbermann, not to mention Nancy Pelosi, John Stewart, and others. (The story that the New York Post mocked; you remember!) Well, guess what? The offender is a far-right conservative, Free Republic-loving nut.

And not only that, check out his Free Republic bio:

I am a lifelong Conservative Republican .

I have an Associates Degree in the Science of Electronics .

Ann Coulter is a Goddess and I worship Laura Ingraham and Michele Malkin .

English is the langauge of the United States of America- - our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution are written in the langauge that expresses our civilized freedoms .

Spanish is the language of Banana Republics, beyond that it belongs in a European country.

Gee, he "worships" Michelle Malkin (and yet still manages to spell her name wrong)? I wonder if Michelle "The Right Polices It's Own" Malkin will be posting today to condemn this extremist, and let's not forget, illegal behavior?

Let's see now...

A post tut-tutting the San Francisco Public School system cracking down on ROTC...

A smug post making fun of Gore...

More mocking of Dean in a pathetic "Hot Air" segment that reiterates the "John Kerry called the troops stupid" lie...

A "Liberal talk radio is dying" post....

A "The Simpsons is an evil, military bashing show!" post...

And gee, not much else!

But I'm sure she'll get right on it, once she finishes crowing about the "thumping" the Republicans took last week actually being a "conservative victory."

Just watch me hold my breath.

Update: David Niewert has more.

Haters like the people Castagana claims as his heroes -- Coulter, Malkin, Ingraham, just for starters -- are constantly engaging in the worst kind of eliminationist rhetoric directed primarily at liberals. It is simply an inevitability that, when this kind of hate is broadcast to millions of people daily, some of them are eventually going to start acting it out in fashions precisely like this. And worse.

All these figures, of course, have the right to speak as they wish. But the media-industry figures -- the producers and executives who put them on the air, thereby giving them a bullhorn to broadcast it nationally and spew it across our television sets and radios -- are simply being irresponsible.

It's past time, really, to start holding them responsible.

Amen, brother.

("Free Republic Crazy Person Bio" courtesy of Sadly, No! They've got more in their post.)

The Hiss of a Slowly Deflating Tire

2006-11-10T14:30:00.000-05:00

Nothing like a sloooow leak...

R.I. Senator May Leave Republican Party

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Two days after losing a bid for a second term, Sen. Lincoln Chafee said he was unsure whether he would remain a Republican.

Chafee lost to Democrat Sheldon Whitehouse in a race seen as a referendum on
President Bush and the GOP. On Thursday, he was asked whether he would stick with the Republican Party or become an independent or Democrat.

"I haven't made any decisions. I just haven't even thought about where my place is," Chafee said at a news conference. When pressed on whether his comments indicated he might leave the GOP, he replied: "That's fair."

Chafee, 53, is a lifelong Republican who has represented Rhode Island for seven years. His father held the same seat for 23 years before that.

He is the most liberal Republican in the Senate and was the sole Senate Republican to vote against the war in Iraq. But that was not enough to prevail against Whitehouse, who shared many of Chafee's views but was a Democrat in a heavily Democratic state.

Now that they don't feel they need to immediately knuckle under to Bush's every whim, and when the Republican higher-ups are jumping ship left and right, I think we're going to see quite a bit of this from other Republicans in the upcoming weeks and months.

Sounds like steam escaping....

Catching a Bullet

2006-11-09T14:03:00.000-05:00

And here we go.

So. I wrote about my opinions on the "To Catch a Predator" Dateline series here, and followed up with an opinion piece on the "Sexual Predator" boogeyman here. Take a look, if you need a refresher. And let me just repeat the disclaimer:

1. I do not support or condone anyone that sexually assaults a child.

2. I am not in any way suggesting that convicted sex offenders should not be punished for what they did.

3. I believe that extra caution and taking steps to protect children from being assaulted is a good thing.

Right.

I didn't want to rain on everyone's election parade earlier this week, so I sat on this until today. From Tuesday's NYT (bolds mine):

Prosecutor Kills Himself in Texas Raid Over Child Sex

TERRELL, Tex., Nov. 6 — A prosecutor in this North Texas town killed himself Sunday as the police tried to arrest him on charges of soliciting sex over the Internet from a person he thought was a 13-year-old boy.

The prosecutor, Louis Conradt Jr., 56, had been caught in a sting operation set up by Dateline NBC, the television news magazine, and an Internet watchdog group called Perverted Justice. An NBC camera crew was outside the house to film the scene when the fatal shot was fired.

Mr. Conradt had refused to open the door when police officers arrived at his house, where he lived alone, said Sgt. Snow Robertson of the Police Department in Murphy, a nearby town where officers said Mr. Conradt intended to meet the boy he thought he had communicated with.

Officers eventually forced their way into the house, only to find that Mr. Conradt had shot himself in the head with a small-caliber semi-automatic handgun, Sergeant Robertson said. Mr. Conradt died later at Parkland Hospital in Dallas.

So, the usual "sting" is set up, talk "of a sexual nature" happens, the guy doesn't meet up with the child, although they claim he "planned to do so," the cops show up, camera crew in tow, and force their way into his house.

And he's blown his head off.

Allison Gollust, an NBC News spokeswoman, said the crew for Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a Predator” series was taping as the police approached the house. But Ms. Gollust added that no one from Dateline had had contact with Mr. Conradt and that there was nothing to suggest that he had seen the crew before he turned the gun on himself.

“There’s absolutely no evidence that would suggest that he was aware of us,” Ms. Gollust said. “We don’t anticipate making a change to our reporting.”

Of course, there's also no evidence to suggest that he wasn't aware of the camera crew. Call me nuts, but I think a couple guys running with cameras, a boom operator, and Chris Freakin' Hansen would be kind of hard to miss. And of course they're not going to have contact with him before hand; that would have given the game away. We could also question whether he actually planned on meeting up with the "boy" he thought he talked to, or if he was just having some really sleazy underage cybersex. He could have forgotten about the conversation immediately after emptying the kleenex box, or he could have actually been planning on going over to the "boy's" house. We don't know. We could ask Conradt, but he's, well, dead.

And, of course, why should they change their ~~sensationalist garbage~~ "reporting?" Why consider Conradt's family? Why consider that something this horrifying might not be in the best of taste to air? The guy ate lead, and that's television gold, baby.

Xavier Von Erck, director of operations with Perverted Justice, said Mr. Conradt had made contact in an AOL chat room with a decoy from Perverted Justice who was posing as a 13-year-old boy. Mr. Von Erck would not disclose the details of the chat, but he said, “It was sexual in nature.”

Unlike some suspects in pedophile stings that appear on “Dateline NBC,” Mr. Conradt had not actually met the person he thought was the teenager, but Sergeant Robertson said he planned to do so. Perverted Justice staff members found profiles from Mr. Conradt on AOL, Yahoo and MySpace.com, Mr. Von Erck said. He also said that he thought Mr. Conradt had tried to erase at least one online profile, on MySpace.com, a popular online social networking community used mainly by teenagers, in the moments before he shot himself.

And, of course, the Myspace bugaboo rears its head as well. Couldn't have a pedophile story without Myspace; it's the lollipop in the stranger's car of 2006.

Perverted Justice stings have led to the arrests of 260 people nationwide this year, Mr. Von Erck said.

Several residents in this town of 14,000 about 30 miles east of Dallas said they were shocked to hear the accusations of pedophilia against Mr. Conradt, who had served two terms as district attorney.

Kirby Webb, an investment advisor from Terrell, said he never wanted to hear about people taking their own lives, but he applauded law enforcement’s effort to catch online child predators in the town.

“This is a good family town,” Mr. Webb said. “We want to preserve that image.”

And if that means a scumbag or two takes his own life, well, that's just fine.

Look, I hate pedophiles. The thought of what happens to their victims sickens me. But this is exactly what I talked about in my earlier posts. Sensastionalist television, witch hunt mentality, and greed caused a man to kill himself before anything had happened. I understand that he was allegedly soliciting sex from a minor, a criminal act, but this whole thing stinks to high heaven.

If you've watched the "Predator" shows, every segment, and I mean every segment, involves Perverted Justice getting some sicko to show up at a house where they assume a minor is waiting to have sex with them. Once they're in the house, Hansen pounces. He makes them squirm on camera for a while, then lets them leave the house, where they're promptly tackled by law enforcement and carted off to prison. Where they belong. Again, just because I think this sadistic televised lynch mob programming is disgusting doesn't mean I think the sexual offenders shouldn't be punished.

So,why the change in routine? Why go to the house this time? Why break down his door? Was he a particularly tempting target and he wasn't going for the bait? Was this a new style experiment in "catching a predator?"

I guess we'll never know the whole truth, because one side of the story redecorated his walls with his brains.

There is no way that Conradt didn't know about the television show. It's been one of the most popular Dateline series in history. And if you're a pedophile, I'm sure you're keeping tabs on the lastest ways to catch your slimy ass. He knew that capture meant public humiliation on national television, and I'm sure he knew what happens to pedophiles in prison.

Boom.

So, I'm not exactly shedding tears for a pedophile. But I do find it very disturbing that pedophile hysteria and crap T.V. have caused someone to take their own life.

Last night, I saw and advert for the latest (ALL NEW!!!) "To Catch a Predator."

I wonder if they got good audio of the gunshot.

Don't Fall For It.

2006-11-09T11:44:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I wrote a post with some advice for Democrats. My first suggestion was "don't fall for it," with a link to a story about Bush & Pelosi's "make nice" lunch, entitled "Bush Pledges to Work with Democrats."

Anyone who honestly believes that Bush has any desire to work with Democrats needs to e-mail me immediately. I have a bridge to sell you.

Bush and the Republicans haven't the slightest desire to reconcile, or to work with Democrats on any sort of progressive change. For evidence of this statement, I could simply point to the last six years... hell, all the way back to the beginning of the Clinton administration, and really, that should be enough.

But really, visual aids are so much better.

Before the election, President Bush said on the campaign trail that if opponents of his Iraq policy were victorious, “the terrorists win and America loses.”

During his press conference earlier today, Bush returned to the same extreme rhetoric. Addressing “our enemies,” Bush said “do not be joyful” over the election results, or view them as evidence of America’s “lack of will.”

So, in other words, "working with the Democrats" means the same old shit.

"The terrorists got what they wanted" is the message, and he couldn't make it through one day before blurting that out.

Democrats: Bush, the Republicans, and the Media are all rooting for you to fail. They will not hesitate for a second to trash you the second your back is turned. Don't give them any ammo.

Quote of the Day, Part Four, The Quotening

2006-11-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

Bush:

"You look at it race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not too close. It was a thumping."

How delightfully old-timey. Did they box your ears, as well?

(Via Political Wire.)

Quote of the Day, Part the Third

2006-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

Arlen Parsa:

"Did you hear that? It was the sound of Karl Rove screaming in anguish."

What is This... Bizzaro World?

2006-11-08T14:57:00.000-05:00

Bush admits he's a liar.

One down, about a kazillion to go.

Quote of the Day, Part Deux

2006-11-08T14:27:00.000-05:00

Bush:

"Actually, I thought I was going to be fine in this election. Shows you what I know."

Heh

2006-11-08T14:16:00.000-05:00

Dead woman wins county commissioner's race
S.D. candidate gets 100 votes; official says voters knew she was deceased

PIERRE, S.D. - A woman who died two months ago won a county commissioner's race in Jerauld County on Tuesday.

Democrat Marie Steichen, of Woonsocket, got 100 votes, defeating incumbent Republican Merlin Feistner, of Woonsocket, who had 64 votes.

Jerauld County Auditor Cindy Peterson said she believes the county board will have to meet to appoint a replacement for Steichen. Peterson said she'll check with the state's attorney to be sure that's the process.

Yeah, you'd better double check that. Otherwise, her office might get a bit whiffy.

Peterson said voters knew Steichen had died.

"They just had a chance to make a change, and we respect their opinion."

Corpses before Republicans. Sounds like a good opinion to me.

Maybe Merlin can give Ashcroft a call, you know, for a little shoulder-crying time.

Shriek! Scream! Aiiieeeeeee!!!!

2006-11-08T11:55:00.000-05:00

It begins! The hysteria on the right is already reaching a fever pitch... and most of us haven't even finished our morning coffee.

There's nothing like the paranoia and blatant racism of the Freepers to make you shake your head. Or bust a gut laughing. This morning, I'm laughing. Why?

Well, a lot of it is schadenfreude. I'm going to gloat, and I don't care. I've been told I'm a traitor, a terrorist sympathizer, and every other nasty thing in the book for the last six years. So bite me, wingnuts.

Also, this is day freakin' one, and the hysteria is so extreme, it's hilarious. Just check out the freeper comments in this thread, sensitively titled Minnesota Sends First Muslim to Congress:

MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Voters elected a black Democrat as the first Muslim in Congress on Tuesday after a race in which he advocated quick U.S. withdrawal from Iraq and made little mention of his faith.

Keith Ellison, a 43-year-old lawyer and state representative, defeated two rivals, television networks said, to succeed retiring Democrat Martin Sabo in a seat that has been held by Democrats since 1963.

Ellison, who converted to Islam as a 19-year-old college student in his native Detroit, won with the help of Muslims among a coalition of liberal, anti-war voters.

He advocates an immediate U.S. withdrawal from Iraq along with strongly liberal views. While Ellison did not often speak of his faith during the campaign, awareness of his candidacy drew interest from Muslims well beyond the district centered in Minneapolis.

A significant community of Somali immigrants in Minneapolis cast their first votes for him in the crowded September primary. Ellison also was the surprise choice of party regulars.

While Muslim-Americans make up less than 3 percent of the U.S. population and have largely been a non-factor in terms of political power, get-out-the-vote efforts in several Muslim communities could indicate they may become an emerging force.

Roughly 2 million Muslims are registered U.S. voters, and their ranks increased by tens of thousands in the weeks prior to Tuesday's mid-term elections, Muslim groups have said.

COMMENTS:

--The surrender begins....

--Locked and Loaded!!

--As I said on a previous thread...I feels as if I am watching 9-11 again on my TV. Watching America be attacked from within and I am helpless watching. America...what have you done?

--What is it with blacks converting to the religion of those who first made them slaves ,and continue to enslave and kill in Africa?

--The House Dems will fall all over themselves to make Islam welcome in the House. Watch for alterations to the opening prayer.

--WE ARE SO SCREWED UP AS A NATION IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY!

--Getting ready to go out & buy my burka. I knew it, next we'll have Barrack Hussein O'bama as Prez. This is what the liberals want. But, if we have an immediate w/d from Iraq, like this clown wants, the terrorists will come here, like Bush said & we'll all be dead anyway.

--Congratulations to the burqa-wearing Minnesotans! Good job!

--National suicide has begun.

--Take this to the bank, they will rue the day that they elected a Muslim to our Congress.

--A Muslim is a Muslim is a Muslim.

--Taking my pc and will watch this under my bed.

--buying ammo... and prepared to use it.

We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die! We're all gonna dieeee! AIIIEEEE!

Oh... oh my. Sides hurting.

UPDATE: Blogenfreude has more, and a totally awesome graphic.

Quote of the Day

2006-11-08T11:45:00.000-05:00

Actually, probably the first of many.

Bob Harris: "It must be puzzling... And here the Republicans thought the voters would greet them as liberators…"

Suggestions Needed

2006-11-08T11:19:00.000-05:00

I was speaking with a co-worker this morning, and we both agreed that Bush has gone far beyond Lame Duck status. He was quacking and molting before last night's elections ever occurred; now he'll be lucky if anyone pays the slightest bit of attention to anything he says.

So... we need a new term. What is more Lame Ducky than Lame Duck?

Some Suggestions for the Democrats

2006-11-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

1. Don't fall for it. I hope she spits in his lobster bisque.

2. Stock up on Wingnut repellent. The right-wing noise machine has been hammering you nonstop when they held all the power. It's going to double, probably triple, now. Thick skins are in order.

3. Keep your goddamn noses clean. The number one, most important issue that voters stated last night was "corruption." Get the hint? Let the Republicans wallow in filth; it's what they do best. Don't forget who you work for, and keep it in your pants.

4. Grow a pair.

5. Read the blogs. And I don't mean checking out Kos and the other "big" blogs... read the smaller ones, too. *cough*Shakespeare's Sister*cough* Sure, the big boys are good for bringing in the green, but the smaller ones (not that Shakes' blog is small in the slightest) have very active communities. If you want to know what real progressives are thinking and what they want to see from you folks, this is where to be. We're not looking for a book deal. We want Democrats that stand up for what we believe in. There's a handy blogroll to the right if you need some leads!

6. No, really, keep your goddamn noses clean.

7. The time for Republican Lite is over. You wanted to appear centrist so you could get voted in? Fine. You're voted in. Now stop with this "no amnesty" shit, get on board with stem cell research, get your voters some goddamned health care, and stop with this "well, I'm for civil unions" bullshit. See #4 above and start acting humane.

There. Lecture over. Congratulations, and don't let us down.

Now we do the dance of joy.

(P.S. There's a woman named Tammy Duckworth that you might want to be checking out...)

Both Sides are Just as Bad!

2006-11-07T15:20:00.000-05:00

Oh, it's election day, it's election day... and of course, the Republicans are doin g their best to destroy the democratic process.

"But remember, the Democrats are dabbling in voter fraud, too!" cry the Republicans.

Well... let's take a look:

A public relations battle has broken out with both Republicans and Democrats on the look out for dirty tricks that they can quickly publicize to embarrass the other side.

Democrats, for example, announced that GOP poll workers are handing out “fake and misleading” flyers at polling sites in Prince George’s County, Maryland today.

The flyer says that three leading black Democrats had endorsed both Republican Bob Ehrlich for Governor and Republican Michael Steele for Senate, which is false.

The Maryland Democratic Party also said it had received word that homeless people from Philadelphia have been bused in to do the Republicans’ dirty work.

National Republicans, meanwhile, complained that MikeforMichigan.com - Michigan Republican Mike Bouchard’s Senate campaign web site - was under attack and consequently shut down. “The proper federal authorities will be contacted immediately,’’ said the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

And in Syracuse, New York Democrats denounced a Republican member of the Common Council for trying to deter people from voting for Dan Maffei, a Democrat challenging Republican Rep. Jim Walsh.

“Ryan McMahon, a Republican on the Common Council, showed up wearing a Maffei sticker in the polling place and started trying to convince people coming into vote that they were at the wrong polling place,’’ said an email from the New York State Democrats. “We have to fight extra hard because we are up against people who will say or do anything to win this race, they are that desperate.”

So, let's see here...

GOP poll workers handing out "fake and misleading" flyers that blatantly lie to voters...

Homeless people exploited to do the dirty work for Republicans...

GOP workers trying to trick people away from their polling place while posing as a Dem supporter...

Plus, all the dirty tricks in the links above...

Versus "My website went down!"

Gosh and golly... they're like mirror images, aren't they?

(Okay, that "bussing in the homeless" thing sounds pretty far-fetched, but I wouldn't put it past them.)

UPDATE: Well, what do you know? Not so far-fetched after all. Thanks, TPM. (And Linkmeister!)

Sweet Jesus, I Hate You, Laura

2006-11-07T13:28:00.000-05:00

Laura Ingraham, the Human Nasal Passage, apparently thinks it's damn funny to screw up Democratic voters.

UPDATE: Laura Ingraham has asked her listeners to call the Dem Voter protection hotline — and they are now being flooded with calls from crank callers. Please call Laura and tell her what you think about this: 800.876.4123. You can e-mail her here. Apparently, voter intimidation and fraud are a joke to Laura Ingraham. Let's let her know that it is no joke.

UPDATE #2: More on Laura Ingraham: "caller indicated she is running a tape of Bill Clinton over and over saying "call 1-888 Dem Vote to report problems" — and then making fun of him, thus producing a spike in crank calls to the number" Protecting voter integrity is no joke. And I am not laughing. If anyone has audio of this, I'd love it.

It's all a joke; it's all a game. These people haven't the slightest respect for their country or the election process.

UPDATE: Listen here.

Well, Color Me Shocked

2006-11-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

So, it was about the oil after all.

Blow it right out your ass, wingnuts.

Didn't You See the Banner? "Mission Accomplished!"

2006-11-06T15:47:00.000-05:00

This is just completely disgusting.

Army Recruiters Accused of Misleading Students to Get Them To Enlist

And how are they doing this, you ask? By promising huge paychecks? By lying about the amount of time they have to serve? By painting a rosy picture of service in Iraq?

Nope. By claiming the war is over.

Nov. 3, 2006 — An ABC News undercover investigation showed Army recruiters telling students that the war in Iraq was over, in an effort to get them to enlist.

ABC News and New York affiliate WABC equipped students with hidden video cameras before they visited 10 Army recruitment offices in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut.

"Nobody is going over to Iraq anymore?" one student asks a recruiter.

"No, we're bringing people back," he replies.

"We're not at war. War ended a long time ago," another recruiter says.

And the thing is, there are people out there that are misinformed enough to fall for this.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Sadly, No!)

Get a Rope

2006-11-06T11:21:00.000-05:00

They should have just tattooed a target on his forehead.

Man Ordered to Wear "Sex Offender" T-Shirt

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A Delaware judge on Friday ordered a man who twice exposed himself to a 10-year-old girl at his workplace to wear a T-shirt with the words: "I am a registered sex offender" in bold letters, a prosecutor said.

Russell Teeter, 69, who pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent exposure, also was sentenced to 60 days in jail by Superior Court Judge Jan Jurden in Wilmington.

Deputy Attorney General Donald Roberts said he requested the unusual T-shirt punishment because he was concerned about Teeter exposing himself to children at the gardening business he runs with his wife.

"This is a unique way to let his customers know that he is a sex offender," Roberts told Reuters.

Before anyone says I'm "on the pedophile's side," go read this.

I'm sure I'll be taken to task for this, but I really feel this is cruel and unusual punishment. If we're going to do this, why don't we just bring back the stocks, for chrissakes? This isn't about protecting children; there are other ways that could have been done in this case. This is about public humiliation. And opening the door to "vigilante justice."

As usual, life imitates comedy:

It's becoming impossible to write satire anymore.

"I'm a totally awesome kisser, right?"

2006-11-06T10:27:00.000-05:00

Funniest thing I've seen in weeks. I'm definitely going to have to pick this game up, before they fix the "bug."

What do you want to bet that this little glitch gets the fundies even more hysterical than the violence in GTA?

(Tip 'o the energy dome to my buddy Grendel.)

I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire

2006-11-06T08:26:00.000-05:00

Did you see the Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror" episode last night?

If not, here's how it ended:

The clip unfortunately ends a little early (the song, silence, and explosions continued for a while), so the effect is a little diminished. But, you get the idea. I was struck by two things:

1. I'm amazed that FOX advertised this episode using the "You said we'd be greeted as liberators!" gag. Hell, I'm amazed this bit made it on to FOX at all.

2. The total absence of a punchline at the end of this episode is both jarring, and completely effective.

What did you think of it? Discuss.

(If you'd like to watch the entire segment, it's here. If anyone knows who performs "World on Fire" at the end of the episode, please let me know. I'm a big fan of tin-pan alley tunes, and I really like this version.)

Jobs-A-Plenty

2006-11-03T09:44:00.000-05:00

Expect to be hearing a lot of hootin' and hollerin' from the Republicans in the days leading up to the election about this:

WASHINGTON - The unemployment rate dropped to a five-year low of 4.4 percent in October as employers added 92,000 new jobs — flashing a picture of a strong labor market as the midterm elections draw near.

The latest report, released Friday by the Labor Department, showed that the civilian unemployment rate fell 0.2 percentage point from 4.6 percent in September. It marked the third month in a row that the politically prominent jobless rate declined.

The tally of new jobs added to the economy in October fell short of economists expectations for an increase of around 125,000 positions, however. Nonetheless, job gains in both August and September turned out to be much stronger than previously estimated — and that took a lot of the sting out of October's less-than-expected payroll performance.

While any increase in employment and wages, particularly when our economy is so lousy, is good to hear about, it's important to remember that this is Dubya's America. And just like a closer look at the crowing about the booming economy shows that it, of course, benefits the richest of Americans, the news about this increase in jobs isn't exactly all peaches and cream.

On the payroll front, job losses in manufacturing, construction and retail offset gains in professional and business services, education and health, government and elsewhere.

Factories shed 39,000 jobs in October, marking the fourth straight month of employment cuts. Construction companies got rid of 26,000 jobs, while retailers trimmed 3,500 positions.

Professional and businesses services, meanwhile, added 43,000 jobs. Education and health expanded employment by 28,000, and the government payroll swelled by 34,000.

So, most likely, Bush and Republicans will be hollering to these same factory, construction, and retail workers about how good they have it, when in fact, jobs for these workers are being cut left and right. Now, I've got to say, I'm happy to see that swelling in education and health jobs... and I'm happy to read this:

All told the 92,000 total net jobs added in October were the fewest in a year, when the economy was suffering the blow of the Gulf Coast hurricanes.

That disappointment, however, was offset by much better job gains in the previous two months. Employers added 148,000 jobs in September, versus the 51,000 first reported. Payrolls grew by a robust 230,000 in August, stronger than the 188,000 slots previously recorded.

The 4.4 percent unemployment rate was the lowest since the spring of 2001.

The jobless rate for blacks fell to 8.6 percent last month, from 9.2 percent in September. The unemployment rate for Hispanics dropped to 4.7 percent, from 5.4 percent. The jobless rate for teen-agers declined to 15.4 percent from 16.4 percent.

...but you and I both know how Republicans pitch to the people working in the factories, construction companies, and retailers. I'm just really hoping they'll look at what's happening around them, rather than listen to rosy rhetoric.

I guess if McDonald's is hiring, everything's jake.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

Doo, do do, do do, do doooo... Doo, do do, do do, do doooo...

You Chose a Child Molester's Jam!

2006-10-31T11:06:00.000-05:00

Right. I'm about to do the frug on some very thin ice here, so let me just spell out a few things right off the bat.

1. I do not support or condone anyone that sexually assaults a child.

2. I am not in any way suggesting that convicted sex offenders should not be punished for what they did.

3. I believe that extra caution and taking steps to protect children from being assaulted is a good thing.

Okay. We have that out of the way? Let's dance.

I've kind of touched upon this subject before, in a post I wrote critiquing the MSNBC "To Catch a Predator." I'm of the opinion that the big bugaboo in America right now (aside from those eeevil terrorists, of course) are sexual "predators." There is a lot of media attention being paid right now to pedophiles, in particular. From MSNBC to Mark Foley, molestation is getting a lot of air time.

So, my clock alarm goes off yesterday morning; I have it set to news radio. The story at that moment was reporting that the Illinois Attorney General had issued a press release suggesting that parents go to the Illinois Sex Offender Registry website to look up convicted sex offenders in their area, and plan a safe trick-or-treating route. I also saw, in googling for this press release, that Illinois isn't the only state making this suggestion. In fact, in Maryland, sex offenders are being ordered to keep off their porch lights on Halloween, and are not allowed to decorate their homes. Similar orders are being handed out in other states.

Now... on one hand, I think this is intelligent. By showing a little forethought, and advocating parental responsibility, they are hoping to prevent children from being exposed to possible risk.

On the other hand, I have a few problems with this.

A little background: A guy I work with recently went out on a date. The guy he dated is a cop, and one of his duties is to go "undercover." Basically, he does a plainclothes patrol in "cruisy areas;" namely, a public place where men go for anonymous sex. He'll hang around in this area, and if some slob flashes him, he's immediately arrested and taken in. Men that are caught in this manner having consensual sex (in other words, not flashing the cop, but caught by the cop) are also arrested. Now, my issues with this go a little further; the whole thing smacks of entrapment to me, but my big problem is this: when Flashy is convicted, he's convicted as a sex offender. And who does he get lumped in with? Child molesters.

Now, it could of course be argued that anyone that would flash someone in public needs to be kept away from children, and on one level, I agree. However, I would also argue that some, if not most of these men haven't the slightest interest in any sort of sexual act with a child. But now that they have been registered as a sex offender, they are cemented with that stigma, permanently. And if a concerned parent finds this person on the R.S.O. (I'm getting really tired of typing registered sex offender) website, they will immediately assume that this person is a child molester, when they may in fact just be a closeted, horny guy. So, because he got a little desperate, went to a cruisy area, saw this really hot, buff guy and assumed he was there for the same reason... he's going to be thought of as a pedophile by his neighborhood. The R.S.O. website does not describe the crime of the convicted person. Therefore, because people are looking at the website specifically for people that have sexually assaulted children, and because of the current mindset in this country that sexual offenders are all pedophiles, and the fear of assault that's been whipped up with all the media coverage, the conclusion will always be drawn that anyone on the site is a child molester.

Again, I'm not saying this might be someone you would want giving your kid a tootsie roll, but I'm also concerned about people being slapped with a stigma that they don't necessarily deserve.

Which brings me to my second point. When you're encouraging every parent to search for sexual predators in their neighborhoods, there is always the possibility of "witch hunt" mentality. Now, when I was told that the men mentioned above were being labeled as R.S.O., I was pretty surprised. I always assumed that conviction was for the more severe and heinous sexual crimes; rape, pedophilia, etc. In this case, a crime that seemed to me to be pretty benign was being lumped in with the lowest of the low. What if a neighborhood's citizens got together and decided to run one of these guys out of town? Or worse?

I'll throw in another bit. Statutory rapists are also listed as registered sex offenders. So, an 18-year-old guy that gets caught having consensual sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend (or whatever ages would be appropriate for a particular state's consent laws) would also be lumped in with (and most likely thought of as) the pedophiles. When non-consensual and consensual sexual crimes are, according to the state, equal, sending people to keep tabs on the R.S.O.s in their area could lead to some bad situations.

Again, I'm not saying that statutory rape is fine and dandy.

I'm all for keeping children safe. I'm all for working to eliminate possibilities of children being exposed to the risk of sexual assault. However, I also feel that the nature of sexual crimes have to be defined a little more accurately when people are listed as registered sex offenders. I don't think it's really fair to label someone a pedophile, when they're really just a "pervert."

(Post title taken from one of my favorite Kids in the Hall sketches. The fabulously creepy "Boogeyman" painting was done by Michael Whelan. Thanks to Shakes. )

Guh.

2006-10-31T10:35:00.000-05:00

So, I have the tube on last night, and I see a political ad... I can't even remember who it was for, or what it was about in general. I was too busy groaning in disgust.

In this ad, Barack Obama appears, and states how he and Tammy Duckworth support John McCain's "plan for immigration," and how he is against amnesty.

Barack Obama and John McCain. Together at last.

I think I may need to go back to bed for the next twenty years or so.

Update: Here it is.

Random Annoyances

2006-10-30T13:15:00.000-05:00

(Forgive my recent absence... I've been attending a conference for work and was away from the computer)

It's a beautiful day in Chicago today... 68 degrees and sunny, and yet, I'm irritable. Partially because my allergies have gone completely berserk, but also because I keep running into little things that are very annoying. For example:

Billboard seen off the Kennedy expressway yesterday:

Don't get it? Read it out loud.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering the venue, but jeez...

Speaking of objectifying women, why not start them out early with the Drama Queen Major Flirt Costume? It's in the top five, after all... and don't forget to slather on the makeup and lipstick.

Creepy.

Good Lord

2006-10-25T16:18:00.000-04:00

This is getting completely insane.

In Tennessee, GOP Senate Candidate Bob Corker is running a radio ad featuring jungle drums when his opponent, Harold Ford, Jr.'s name is mentioned.

Fucking jungle drums.

Listen to it here.

We got a copy of the ad from a producer from WGOW radio in Chatanooga. Bill Lockhart, the program director for WGOW, confirmed the authenticity of the ad and that it's running on the station. "They're freaking jungle-drums," Lockhart tells us. "It's racist -- it tries to conjure up deep, dark African moods. Yeah, it's overtly racial."

It's pretty interesting that this ad is running, wouldn't you say? After all, Corker disavowed the similar tactics in the recent "bimbo" ad which stirred controversy and charges of racism. The bimbo ad, which featured an actress playing what used to be called a "floozy." As you surely know by now, she claimed to she'd met Ford at a "Playboy" party and asked Ford to "call me." For some reason, people got the idea that it was supposed to be playing on fears of interracial sex, and they got very upset about it. Corker himself has called on local stations not to run the bimbo TV spot, saying that it "went too far."

But the RNC has been unapologic about the ad, and it's continued to run.

Gee, I can't understand why Republicans aren't getting the African American vote!

Uh-Oh

2006-10-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

Expect the Republican hysteria to reach a fever pitch before election day. They're in real trouble, they're scared shitless, and everyone's a target.

Republicans Losing Ground with U.S. Women

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Women voters, notably married moms, are turning away from the ruling Republican Party in the run-up to US legislative elections due, in part, to dissatisfaction with the Iraq war and domestic issues.

Polls and analysts say that unlike the 2002 and 2004 elections, when terrorism concerns and other security-related issues drove many women to support
President George W. Bush and his Republican Party, these factors are no longer playing a key role.

"Women voters are turning more Democratic now than they were four years ago," Carroll Doherty, associate director of the Pew Research Center in Washington, told AFP. "Four years ago Republicans were running about even with Democrats among women, but now you see a big gain for the Democrats among women."

A poll conducted by the Pew Center in early October had 55 percent of women voters expressing support for the Democratic Party as opposed to 34 percent for the Republican Party.

"Women are very down on the Iraq war and their view of the president is also eroding," Doherty said. "Men are still pretty divided over the president but women disapprove of him two to one."

For Bush, who has prided himself in saying that his middle initial stands for women, the slipping support could spell trouble on election day as his party seeks to hang on to its majority in Congress and grapples with a series of corruption and ethics scandals.

So, people finally figured it out- "W" does not stand for "Women."

But wait, there's more!

Black Voters to Remain Loyal to Democrats

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Republicans have been stymied in their efforts to woo African-American support and black voters are expected to constitute the Democrats' most loyal voting bloc in upcoming US elections.

After the 2004 presidential election, Republicans stepped up their efforts to recruit blacks, heartened by returns that showed that George W. Bush had garnered a surprisingly high proportion of the African-American vote.

But rather than making continued gains, polls show Republican retrenchment in the black community. A survey a year ago by the Wall Street Journal found Bush's support had sunk to a stunning two percent -- an all-time low.

When black Americans go to the polls in congressional elections on November 7, "my guess is that it is going to be a typical African-American vote, which is going to be 10 percent for the Republican and 90 percent for the Democratic candidate," said David Bositis of the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies.

And the phones light up at Diebold! How long do you think voters in highly African-American populated districts are going to have to wait to vote this time?

But wait, there's more!

Dispirited, Angry US Electorate Going to the Polls

WASHINGTON (AFP) - US voters go to the polls in congressional elections next month divided between dispirited backers of President George W. Bush's Republican Party and Democrats eager to register their anger.

"(Americans) are unhappy about lots of things," said Larry Sabato of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics. "They believe the country is on the wrong track."

The strength of public dissatisfaction is so great that the Republicans are bracing for a potential election night disaster on November 7, when 435 seats in the House of Representatives and one-third of the 100 seats in the Senate are at stake.

"When you talk to Republican pollsters and strategists, the nicest word you can come up with is 'despondent,'" said National Journal columnist Charlie Cook. "This is going to be really bad."

We can only hope.

But the economy is going great! Bush said so! That's enough to keep Republicans in office, right?

Well... if you're in the top 1%, the economy is great. And 1% of the vote ain't gonna keep the Bushies in office, folks.

Meanwhile, a little more "Rubbing it in the Face of the Have-Nots":

Luxury Travel by Bush Officials Totals 1.5 Million Dollars

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A top Democratic lawmaker called for a clampdown on luxury travel by administration officials, whom he said have taken scores of trips aboard private jets at taxpayers' expense.

Representative Henry Waxman alleged that US President George W. Bush's cabinet officials and agency heads have taken 125 such trips aboard private jets, helicopters and other aircraft since 2001.

Waxman's office analyzed data provided by 14 departments and agencies, 10 of which reported travel aboard leased or chartered private aircraft at taxpayers' expense.

I can't imagine why Americans are so dissatisfied.

If there's still a Republican majority after this election, there had better be some serious investigations into these voting machines.

Excellent

2006-10-25T12:47:00.000-04:00

This is what I've been saying... use the lies against them.

Second Verse, Same As The First

2006-10-25T10:46:00.000-04:00

Get ready for more Lame Duckery! (bolds mine)

Bush to Hold News Conference on Iraq

WASHINGTON - With Iraq dominating the political debate, President Bush scheduled a news conference Wednesday to update the nation on the war. The White House said he would not announce any increase or decrease in troop levels.

Bush's meeting with reporters comes less than two weeks before midterm elections where Republicans are anxious about losing control of the House or Senate — or both. Iraq has emerged as the top issue and polls show that most Americans are unhappy with the president's strategy.

October has been the deadliest month this year for American forces. The military Tuesday announced the deaths of two more U.S. Marines, a sailor and a soldier. Since the start of the war, more than 2,800 U.S. service members have died in Iraq. There are currently 144,000 U.S. forces in Iraq.

"Obviously there is a lot going on on the security and political situation in Iraq and it's important that the president also update the American people on the state of the conflict," White House deputy press secretary Dana Perino said.

She said Bush would not announce a change of troop levels. "This is more of a discussion, an explanation" following on briefings this week by U.S. Ambassador Zalmay Khalizad, the top U.S. envoy in Iraq; Gen. George W. Casey Jr., the top U.S. commander in Iraq, and Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

An explanation... of what, exactly? There is exactly one thing that interests everyone concerning Iraq: when the hell are we getting out of there? If an increase or decrease in troop levels are not going to be discussed, than what is this?

Oh, of course, the usual Bush "say nothing" Iraq press conference. The same speech he's been making for years. They could just stand up a cardboard cutout of Bush and play a tape. There is no "strategy;" there never has been. The only reason to tune in to these things anymore is to see if Bush throws a tantrum.

Frankly, I'm amazed they got Prezint Whiny McIhatemyjobberson to speak to the press. Just send him back to the ranch; that's where he wants to be, anyway.

UPDATE: In the time it took me to type this post, the headline to the above article changed from "Bush to Hold News Conference on Iraq" to "Bush Says He's Concerned About Iraq." Well, gee, that's good. He's concerned. What a guy. What a leader.

What an ass.

MORE UPDATE: Now, the headline is "Bush Acknowledges US Concern on Iraq." Now we're concerned, too. And he feels our pain. See, he's not so out of touch! I wonder if he read about our "concern" on the google?

IOKIYAR

2006-10-24T10:47:00.000-04:00

Or, "It's okay if you're hating Muslims."

Go read.

Who knew the wingnuts were so supportive of transgendered people? One would think their heads would explode with this little paradox. I guess hatred of the Brown Ones trumps everything.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to tbogg.)

Waste of Space

2006-10-23T15:11:00.000-04:00

Whatta load:

(CNN) -- Responding to queries from CNN.com readers, conservative commentator and former Cabinet secretary William Bennett expressed faith in the U.S. government's global standing and doubts about the mainstream media's objectivity and the viability of a strong third political party.

Host of the nationally syndicated radio talk show, "Bill Bennett's Morning in America," the CNN political analyst and Republican strategist touched on several controversial topics raised by readers as part of CNN's "Broken Government" series.

I'm sure you're thinking that Bennett took a long, hard look at himself and at the party he chooses to associate with, and attempted to seriously answer the questions of his viewers, no matter how painful the answers might be. This time, he won't just resort to stroking the egos of his viewers; soothing them with talking points. You're thinking that, since the Bush Administration has been such a complete failure, and America is facing some very serious problems, Bennett might be able to rise above the spin and smoke, and look at these questions with a critical eye, right?

You'd be wrong. (Bolds CNN's. Eye-rolling disgust mine)

Why has the rest of the world pretty much lost faith in our democracy and government?
Joaquin Garweg, Houston, Texas

BENNETT: I don't think the rest of the world has lost faith in our democracy and government.

It is fashionable in some precincts to condemn the United States. We have not been popular in the Middle East for many years, and the university class (in Europe, especially) has a "sophisticated" view that is aped by academia in much of the U.S. professoriate.

But many millions of people around the world love America, Americans and the things America represents. If [people] virtually anywhere in the world ... saw a group of soldiers coming over the hill and could pick which flag they were carrying, the American flag would still be the choice of many.

And you're basing this on... what, exactly? Funny, but from what I read and hear, the rest of the world isn't too pleased with us. When was the last time you heard someone say, "We are all Americans," before Bush squandered all of the goodwill created by 9/11? This sounds to me like Bennett pulled this information from somewhere near the seat of his trousers. Permit me to recycle this joke:

Bennett, Bill. Completely Pulled out of My Ass.
New York: Bennett, 2006.

After the actions of the Bush Administration, I would think that the sight of a group of soldiers coming over the hill carrying the American flag would create more thoughts of invasion than safety.

Nice little "freedom fries"-esque jab at those snooty Europeans and libbrul college professors as well, Bill. Wouldn't want to let a column go by without dusting off that relic.

How do we as citizens stop our representatives from disregarding the will of the people?
April Garlow, Franklinville, New York

BENNETT: Edmund Burke had this answer many years ago: "Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays instead of serving you if he sacrifices it to your opinion."

The Founders believed there was a distinction between the "representativeness" between the members of the House and the Senate. The former should more directly represent the wishes of their constituents, the latter are supposed to filter those wishes and view them through a national prism. But the short answer: Vote 'em in or out of office as you see fit.

How nice and dismissive of you. This is a legitimate concern of many Americans, especially since Bush has become so drunk with power: How the hell do we stop these maniacs when they ignore the will of the people (remember how they reacted to the anti-war protests?) and our representatives are either powerless or too cowardly to help, without resorting to violence? "Vote 'em out" isn't a very helpful answer, particularly when elections don't exactly roll around that frequently, when black voters are casually being disenfranchised, when fear tactics are used to keep people from voting, and when they're obviously easily stolen. Our government flaunts their disregard for the wishes of Americans; this is a very serious question. When your only "voice" as an American is your vote, and they take that away from you, then what? We don't all have the opportunity to talk on CNN, Bill.

Is there a bias in the mainstream media against the Republican Party?
Mike Malloy, Paradise, California

BENNETT: Yes. And it is demonstrable. Survey after survey of powerhouse journalists -- on television, in newspapers and magazines -- show a clear liberal predisposition.

Demonstrable? Then prove it. Where's the "liberal" version of you, answering these same questions in a counterpoint column? Ass.

Isn't it time there is a strong third party?
Keith Berkner, Macon, Georgia

BENNETT: No, I don't think so. The history of third parties in America is not distinguished. They don't win, but often spoil. And they tend more to be eccentric than serious.

People can always try, of course. And it's funny and odd, but instructive, that the story of third parties in America doesn't come to much.

Again, how dismissive of you. Those nutballs that feel betrayed by both parties, and are working to break away from the two party system? A bunch of eccentrics, the lot of them. They couldn't have any serious concerns or ideas, therefore, we shouldn't pay the slightest bit of attention to them. It's also difficult for third parties to "come to much" when the two parties in power actively work to keep them out of the political process.

It's much more "distinguished" to stick to a party line, regardless of the facts staring you right in the face, regardless of the fact that your party has destroyed everything that they supposedly stand for, than to actually look at their actions with a critical eye and hold them accountable for actions that harm the country.

It's good to be the Blowhard.

Up is Down, Black is White

2006-10-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

Shorter Tan Nguyen:

"The problem is not a sleazy letter campaign to intimidate voters. The problem is talking about it."

GARDEN GROVE, Calif. - A Republican congressional candidate whose campaign is being investigated for sending intimidating letters to Hispanic voters lashed out at his Democratic rival, saying she was fueling the uproar over the mailings.

Tan Nguyen on Sunday rejected calls to drop out of the race to unseat longtime Rep. Loretta Sanchez, and implied the popular congresswoman was behind the probes into the letters warning immigrants they could be deported or jailed for voting in next month's election.

"There has been no crime committed so why is there a criminal investigation three weeks prior to a very important election?" Nguyen asked. "What is going on? Who is fueling this investigation?"

The gall! Of all the nerve. Investigations and whatnot. Snort. Harrumph.

Here's the Problem

2006-10-23T13:57:00.000-04:00

The Counselor to the president blatantly lies on national television, parroting the same lie made by the president himself.

The Associated Press, in covering the White House's "flexibility" on Iraq, states:

Dan Bartlett, counselor to the president, said he was puzzled by the weekend report in The New York Times. The newspaper said a blueprint to be presented to al-Maliki by the end of this year would not threaten Iraq with a withdrawal of U.S. troops. But it reported that the administration was considering changing military tactics and contemplating possible penalties if benchmarks were not reached. The White House denied that troop strength would be affected by the Iraqis' ability or inability to meet benchmarks.

[...]

Bartlett, appearing on ABC's "Good Morning America," said the top commanders there have not asked for more troops, but that Bush has made it clear that if they want them, they'll get them.

Appearing on CNN, he said setting a timetable for troop withdrawals would embolden the enemy, provide sanctuary for terrorists and threaten U.S. security. "That's something the president is not going to accept," Bartlett said.

Somehow, the CBS appearance, the comment, and the lie are never mentioned.

Considering that the lie has been all over the blogosphere, i.e., not easily missed, you'd think this would be mentioned. All of those examples were just off the top of my head; I'm sure there are tons of blogs talking about this today.

On the left, that is. On the right? Silence. I checked Instapundit, Wizbang, Malkin, LGF, Townhall... not a peep. Color me shocked.

Your Liberal Media, enabling the lies.

Republicans Re-writing Reality

2006-10-23T11:55:00.000-04:00

Again.

Welcome to the new Republican talking point: "We never said 'Stay the Course.'"

Bush started it, and like good little parrots, the Republicans are repeating it.

Gee, is there an election coming up or something?

A Little Monday Morning Frivolity

2006-10-23T11:17:00.000-04:00

From an episode of Robot Chicken that I saw last night. It gave me the giggles (particularly Jenna), so I thought I'd share.

"You have found weapons of mass destruction."

"... Uh... Hi. We haven't."

Going Out On a Limb Here...

2006-10-20T15:07:00.000-04:00

Look, I know this opinion isn't going to be popular, but I've simply got to say it. Bash away at me in comments if you must, but I have to get this off my chest.

Jonah Goldberg is a jaw-droppingly stupid asshole. An incredibly moronic embarassment. A blockheaded, short-sighted, lie-spreading, hypocritical douchebag.

What? You all agree?

Oh, good.

Then enjoy with me, won't you, as Amanda eviscerates him?

Completely Heartbreaking

2006-10-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

As the Iraq War grinds on, Bush insisting it will never end, and the deaths continue, continue, continue... writings such as this one are striking and vital:

After Pat's Birthday

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Read the whole thing; it's as inspiring as it is heartbreaking. You might also want to send a copy to every registered voter you know.

Particularly if they support this goddamned "president" and this goddamned war.

(Tip of the Energy Dome to oddjob)

Just. Shut. Up.

2006-10-20T11:18:00.002-04:00

Someone let Prezint Yammer McBlowhard in front of a microphone again. (Bolds mine)

Bush: US Trops to Remain in Iraq Until "Terrorists" Defeated

WASHINGTON (AFP) - President George W. Bush insisted that US troops would not pull out of Iraq before "the terrorists are defeated," a day after acknowledging a possible parallel between violence there and the Tet Offensive during the US war in Vietnam.

The comments, coming less than three weeks before crucial elections, follow his acknowledgement on Wednesday that the current steep spike in violence in Iraq "could be" compared to the Tet Offensive, widely considered to be key to souring US public opinion on the Vietnam War.

"Our goal in Iraq is clear and unchanging. Our goal is victory," said Bush, speaking at a rally Thursday for embattled Republican congressman Don Sherwood in the town of La Plume, Pennsylvania.

"We are a nation at war, and we must do everything in our power to win that war," he said.

"We will not pull out our troops from Iraq before the terrorists are defeated. We will not pull out before Iraq can govern itself, sustain itself, and defend itself," he said.

A war he created. A completely unnecessary, illegal war of his own creation that has killed hundreds of thousands. We are at war because George W. Bush wanted a war.

Meanwhile:

Shiite Militia Takes Over Iraqi City

BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Shiite militia run by the anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr seized control of a southern Iraqi city on Friday in one of the boldest acts of defiance yet by the country's powerful, unofficial armies, witnesses and police said.

Mahdi Army fighters stormed three main police stations Friday morning, residents said, planting explosives that flattened the buildings in Amarah, a city just 30 miles from the Iranian border that was under British command until August, when it was returned to Iraqi government control.

About 800 black-clad militiamen with Kalashnikov rifles and rocket-propelled grenades were patrolling in commandeered police vehicles, witnesses said. Other fighters set up roadblocks on routes into the city and sound trucks circulated telling residents to stay indoors.

[...]

The showdown between the Mahdi and Badr militias has the potential to develop into an all-out conflict between the heavily armed groups and their political sponsors, both with large blocs in parliament and backers of al-Maliki's ruling coalition. It also could shatter the unity of Iraq's majority Shiites at a time when an enduring Sunni insurgency shows no signs of abating.

The U.N. refugee agency said at least 914,000 Iraqis have fled their homes since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, more than a third in response to the sectarian bloodshed this year.

The chief military spokesman in Iraq said a two-month-old security operation in Baghdad had failed to meet targets while the monthly death toll for American troops in October had climbed to 74, putting October on course to be the deadliest for U.S. forces in nearly two years.

"The violence is indeed disheartening," Maj. Gen. William B. Caldwell said Thursday in Baghdad.

Yes indeed. Tch, tch. Awful shame, that.

I simply can't believe that this is going on, and the big issue that's supposedly going to "defeat" Bush and the Republicans is Mark fucking Foley.

Supporting the Troops

2006-10-19T15:53:00.000-04:00

Something to think about on Election Day.

Congress' approval rating is at 16%.

This would be the same Congress that voted to give themselves yet another raise this year. As they've done every year they've been in power. Because they're doing such a good job, apparently.

Meanwhile, Military families are relying on food stamps and food banks to eat.

The women and children who formed a line at Camp Pendleton last week could have been waiting for a child-care center to open or Disney on Ice tickets to go on sale.

As the Iraq war marches toward its fourth anniversary, food lines operated by churches and other nonprofit groups are an increasingly valuable presence on military bases countywide. Leaders of the charitable groups say they're scrambling to fill a need not seen since World War II.

Too often, the supplies run out before the lines do, said Regina Hunter, who coordinates food distribution at one Camp Pendleton site.

“Here they are defending the country. . . . It is heartbreaking to see,” said Hunter, manager of the on-base Abby Reinke Community Center. “If we could find more sources of food, we would open the program up to more people. We believe anyone who stands in a line for food needs it and deserves it.”

The base's list of recipients swells by 100 to 150 people a month as the food programs streamline their eligibility process, word spreads among residents and ever-proud Marines adjust to the idea of accepting donated goods.

At least 2,000 financially strapped people in North County qualify for food and other items given out at the center and a Camp Pendleton warehouse run by the Military Outreach Ministry.

Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Badtux, who adds:

Fact #2: Republican Senatorial candidate Thomas Kean Jr. releases his income tax return, showing that he had over $200,000 of income, paid $8,100 in taxes (i.e., 4% tax rate!), and then whines that his taxes are too high.

Feeling the rage yet?

Wallowing in the Filth

2006-10-19T12:48:00.000-04:00

The GOP just can't help themselves. Max Blumenthal posted today about a new GOP campaign ad in which two "black male" voices call women "ho's."

Oh, and those Democrats? They loves them some abortions.

No one can criticize the GOP for failing to produce sophisticated propaganda that successfully exploits the hopes and fears of white middle Americans. But can the right-wing distraction factory woo minorities with the same techniques? Check out the following transcript of a new Republican ad targeting black voters in 10 battleground states this year and you be the judge:

BLACK MAN #1: "If you make a little mistake with one of your 'hos,' you'll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked."

BLACK MAN #2: "That's too cold. I don't snuff my own seed."

BLACK MAN #1: "Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican."

Wow. Just... wow.

But wait, there's more! And I thought the bottom of this barrel was scraped clean!

Another spot attempts to link Democrats to a white supremacist who served as a Republican in the Louisiana Legislature, David Duke.The ad makes reference to Duke's trip to Syria last year, where he spoke at an anti-war rally.

"I can understand why a Ku Klux Klan cracker like David Duke makes nice with the terrorists,"a male voice in the ad says. "What I want to know is why so many of the Democrat politicians I helped elect are on the same side of the Iraq war as David Duke."

And...

Another ad in this year's campaign notes that Democratic presidents oversaw wiretapping and that the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the targets. "Unlike the Al Qaeda butchers Bush is wiretapping, Martin was fighting to promote voting rights. He wasn't plotting mass murder," the ad says.

"Republicans respect the Latino soldier," one of the Spanish-language spots declares. "After all, it was our own General Ricardo Sanchez who commanded the American troops in Iraq. Enough with these Democrats."

Many of the ads with conservative social themes are sandwiched between hip-hop songs that convey blunt sexual messages. A spokesman for America's Pac, John Altevogt, said no stations have refused the ads, but a few asked for minor edits, such as the removal of the word "cracker" from the David Duke spot.

And who is the stellar example of humanity behind these delightful radio spots?

This ad was financed by J. Patrick Rooney, a white billionaire notorious for funding several misleading anti-Kerry ads that ran on urban radio stations in 2004. The money for Rooney's newest ad flowed through a little-known group called America's PAC, which was founded by Richard Nadler, a veteran Republican consultant who pushed Intelligent Design in Kansas public schools, declaring, "Darwin is bunk."

Nadler has an apparently dim view of the minorities he hopes to court. In 2000, he produced an ad in 2000 for school vouchers in which a white parent declared that his child's public school "was a bit more diversity than he could handle." The Republican National Committee flatly denounced that ad as "racist."

But about Rooney and Nadler's latest creation, which portrays black men as promiscuous misogynists and black women as submissive "ho's," the RNC is silent.

But of course. Because they have nothing to offer minority voters. Nothing. What would they say? "Remember how we took care of you during Hurricane Katrina! Vote Republican!" "Hey, Latino voters! Don't pay attention to that fence we're buildling... vote Republican!" These people are desperate.

Even worse:

"They're awful.They're repulsive," a Democratic activist and community leader in South Bend, Gladys Muhammad, said. "When they say Democrats don't like black babies, that's damn fools.They're very insensitive."

"This is so dirty, but it works," a sociology professor at Indiana University, Johnnie Griffin, said. "These are race ads. It's incredible."

While Ms. Griffin said she felt insulted by the ads, she also said a student in her class reported that a relative was thinking of switching to the Republican Party because of them. "Black people are more conservative than anybody thinks. We do have strong family values that people don't seem to stress as much," the professor said.

I thought I had seen and heard some sleazy campaign ads before, but these are just vile.

Update: Konagod has more.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to my buddy Grendel.)

Foley Update

2006-10-19T11:19:00.000-04:00

Priest Admits Foley Relationship

"Relationship." Ugh. I'm sorry, nothing in this story resembles anything like a "relationship."

SARASOTA, Fla. - A Roman Catholic priest said he had an inappropriate two-year relationship with former Rep. Mark Foley in the 1960s that included massaging the boy in the nude, but he did not specifically remember having sex, a newspaper reported Thursday.

The Rev. Anthony Mercieca, 72, described several encounters that he said Foley might perceive as sexually inappropriate, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported. They include massaging Foley while the boy was naked, skinny-dipping together at a secluded lake in Lake Worth and being nude in the same room on overnight trips.

Mercieca said there was one night when he was in a drug-induced stupor and there was an incident but he couldn't clearly remember, the newspaper reported.

"I have to confess, I was going through a nervous breakdown," the newspaper reported Mercieca as saying from his home on the island of Gozo, south of Italy. "I was taking pills — tranquilizers. I used to take them all the time. They affected my mind a little bit."

It wasn't me! It was the priest!

It wasn't me! It was the drugs!

Sick, sick, sick.

And They Would Have Gotten Away With it, Too...

2006-10-19T11:05:00.000-04:00

...if it weren't for those meddling State Investigators!

Get ready to be shocked. Are you ready? Get ready.

Voter Warning Linked to GOP Campaign

Send in the slime. (Bolds mine)

SANTA ANA, Calif. - State investigators have linked a Republican campaign to letters sent to thousands of Orange County Hispanics warning them they could go to jail or be deported if they vote next month, a spokesman for the attorney general said.

"We have identified where we believe the mailing list was obtained," said Nathan Barankin, spokesman for Attorney General Bill Lockyer.

He declined to identify the specific Republican campaign Wednesday, citing the ongoing investigation. The Los Angeles Times and The Orange County Register both reported Thursday that the investigation appeared to be focused on the campaign of Tan D. Nguyen, a Republican challenger to Democratic U.S. Rep. Loretta Sanchez.

The letter, written in Spanish, tells recipients: "You are advised that if your residence in this country is illegal or you are an immigrant, voting in a federal election is a crime that could result in jail time."

In fact, immigrants who are naturalized U.S. citizens can vote.

Gee, I wonder if anyone involved in this sleazy little trick have parents or grandparents that are immigrants?

Your American GOP: We have nothing to offer. Please stay home on Election Day.

alt.nerd.obsessive

2006-10-18T15:23:00.000-04:00

I see that little Ricky Santorum is going for that coveted geek vote.

Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has been drawn to Iraq instead.

Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien's 1950s fantasy classic “Lord of the Rings,” to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.

“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

“It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.,” Santorum continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

The jocks then pantsed him, and dragged him on his bare butt around the track the entire lunch period.

Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Jon, who says:

Dear Pennsylvania,

Please do not reelect this man to the Senate.

Thank you.

your friend,
Jon

"Oh, I've wasted my life."

Update: Waveflux has more.

Bubble Children

2006-10-18T10:48:00.000-04:00

I know I'm probably going to get spanked for this one... but this is just ridiculous.

Mass. Elementary School Bans Tag

ATTLEBORO, Mass. - Tag, you're out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.

While there is no districtwide ban on contact sports during recess, local rules have been cropping up. Several school administrators around Attleboro, a city of about 45,000 residents, took aim at dodgeball a few years ago, saying it was exclusionary and dangerous.

Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.

"I think that it's unfortunate that kids' lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they'll never develop on their own," said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 40 miles south of Boston. "Playing tag is just part of being a kid."

Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.

Okay, I completely understand why the school did this. In these overly litigious times, schools need to protect themselves, particularly when they don't exactly have extra money lying around to cover lawsuits.

That said: Jesus, can we just let kids have a little fucking fun?

The playgrounds I used to enjoy when I was young don't exist anymore. Swings have seatbelts now, for chrissakes. Remember those merry-go-round things that you used to spin on until you thought the centrifugal force was going to pop your arms right out of the sockets? Good luck finding one now. The playground surface near my old apartment was padded.

I'm not saying that parents shouldn't protect their children. I'm not saying that some games and playground equipment can't be dangerous. But, geez, isn't this overprotective "shield our kids from everything" mindset a little bit silly? I was particularly struck by the quote at the end of the article. Now, I'm sure she feels safer because of the rule, but something tells me she just might be putting words in her kid's mouth.

I don't know... I might be overreacting, but I read stories like this and just shake my head. I'm glad my parents didn't treat me like a fragile eggshell.

Speaking of Ghouls...

2006-10-17T14:11:00.000-04:00

Shorter Melanie Morgan:

"Since Cindy Sheehan 'made herself a public figure,' it's okay for us to write a sleazy book accusing her of being addicted to internet porn."

And if that's not enough:

Shorter Mary Katharine Ham:

To Cindy Sheehan: Fuck yeah we killed your child and if we had a chance, we’d kill another.

Monsters.

It's truly astounding how low conservatives will sink when they have nothing to hold onto. Their president has failed them, their party has failed them... it's a good time to attack Cindy Sheehan.

And Michael Moore is fat.

Cheap Shots

2006-10-17T12:13:00.000-04:00

That's the thing about blogging... and pretty much all of us are guilty of it. Sometimes the cheap shot is easier than actually being thoughtful.

The other question I'd just love to have somebody ask is: "How many Iraqis have died to deliberately write bloody headlines for the New York Times …?"

Distasteful as that comment may be, I recommend that you follow the link and read some of the comments... if you're not familiar with statistical analysis, and are curious about why the Lancet study should be taken very seriously, there's some excellent information in there.

The comment thread is also amazingly low on name calling, which makes it tolerable. Though after that New York Times comment, only just barely.

Energy dome tip to Crooks & Liars; they point to this post:

Of course, that assumes that America, and American media, are willing to face the truth, fully and completely. But, as we have seen repeatedly demonstrated in recent years, that is the one thing we resolutely refuse to do under any circumstances, most especially when it calls our precious, and false, self-image into profound question.

Also worth a look.

Ghoul Bill Signed

2006-10-17T11:07:00.000-04:00

Just in time for Halloween.

Bush Signs Law on Terror Suspects

WASHINGTON - President Bush on Tuesday signed legislation authorizing tough interrogation of terror suspects and smoothing the way for trials before military commissions, calling it a "vital tool" in a time of war.

Bush's plan for treatment of the terror suspects became law just six weeks after he acknowledged that the CIA had been secretly interrogating suspected terrorists overseas and pressed Congress to quickly give authority to try them in military commissions.

"With the bill I'm about to sign, the men our intelligence officials believe orchestrated the murder of nearly 3,000 innocent people will face justice," Bush said.

Rah, rah, rah.

Oh, did you know? America tortures. Your civil liberties are gone. Have a nice day.

Update: This part made me puke.

Bush signed the bill in the White House East Room, at a table with a sign positioned on the front that said "Protecting America." He said he signed it in memory of the victims of the Sept. 11 attacks.

I can't wait for the photo. The perfect example of an oxymoron.

More Update: And here it is.

I can't begin to describe how much this picture infuriates me. The defiant, "I'm signing the fuck outta this bill!" look on his face is just perfect.

Shocking, Shocking

2006-10-16T10:55:00.000-04:00

The awakening of the Religious Right continues. Go take a look at this video; it's pretty incredible. There's a very nice bit on "dog whistle" politics, which we've seen recently with Bush's "comma" comment that has more or less backfired on him. I think I'm definitely going to have to read this book.

It's really interesting to see the "base" finally wake up and realize the Republicans have been using them since day one, and that Bush is a complete liar with little or no interest in actual faith-based initiatives.

Big Whoop

2006-10-12T14:14:00.000-04:00

The MoJo Blog points us to this editorial, entitled "Time to Switch Teams," in which a Times Herald-Record business editor (Douglas Cunningham) gets all huffy about the current state of the Republican party, and scolds his fellow conservatives. Some excerpts (bolds mine):

I've had it. The Republican leadership in the House, beginning with Speaker Dennis Hastert, has got to go. As in now. I'm thinking we need to plow through four or five people right below Hastert, too. If the Republican members of the House had any guts, they'd have ousted these people last week. If the Republican leadership had any shame, they would have quit last week.

Apparently, not very many people these days have either, at least in Washington. Anyone who knew anything about the scandal, I want them gone. If the Republicans come to be known as the party that protects gay sexual predators, we're finished. I am not ready to abandon the party of Ronald Reagan and Barry Goldwater to the likes of Mark Foley.

The Hastert storyline is one in which there's no percentage. The most degenerate gambler wouldn't place a bet on Hastert and the rest surviving. The Hastert line is this: I take responsibility, but I've done nothing wrong. This is no worse than Democratic sex scandals. We, personally, have done nothing wrong.

Well, to start with, you did nothing about Foley. Do we need to know more? The Republican sex scandals are suddenly pure and virginal? Foley, to the pier. Hastert, to the bench.

Some of you then trot out, Oh, sure, it's a sex scandal that gets you upset. Everything else was A-OK.

[...]

The reason Republicans are bent out of shape is that this Foley scandal is the proverbial last straw. We've had it. The out-of-control spending. The earmarks. The graft with the lobbyists. The arrogance. The abrogation of principles that Goldwater, Reagan and others worked decades to spread.

The Republicans will lose the House in November. Absent big changes, I have to say they deserve to. I will help them lose it, because in my own congressional district, Pennsylvania's 10th, I'm voting for Democrat Chris Carney. As the campaign literature for Carney slyly notes, he's been married for 18 years to his college sweetheart.

Why might he note that? Because his opponent, and the incumbent, Republican Don Sherwood, engaged in a five-year affair in Washington with a mistress some three decades his junior.

My father had choices. The Republicans offer me candidates who can't even keep their pants on. I've had it.

Well, whoopty-god-damn-de-doo.

We're actually starting to hear a lot of this lately. Republicans/"real" Conservatives are fed up with the out-of-control Bush administration, and they're ready to vote for the Dems, just to get them out of office. Well gee and gosh guys, that's all honorable and cool of you, but I just have one question for you. Where the hell were you guys during the last election?

This editorial, in particular, takes the cake. His finger wagging and scolding is just so much hot air, for the simple fact that the Bush Administration has been completely out of control since day one. Granted, things were jacked up tenfold after 9/11, but it is absolutely unforgiveable that it would take this long to realize that the Bush Administration is bad for America.

Before the 2004 election, everything that Cunningham mentions was already going on. The out-of-control spending. The earmarks. The arrogance. Not to mention everything else negative that Bush brought to the table. The Bush Administration has been rolling around in an orgy of unchecked power for the last six years, and suddenly now, a sex scandal is the straw that broke the camel's back?

Waiting for this election was simply not necessary. You could have stopped everything you're complaining about if you had been responsible and held your elected leaders accountable in the first place.

So, hey, thanks for the votes... we appreciate you finally taking some responsibility for the fanatics that you put in office and supported for the last six years. It's just a fucking shame for the rest of us that you couldn't set aside party loyalty for the love of your country before the last election. I'm going to be arrogant here and say for the rest of the planet, "Too little, too late." If you had any "guts" or "shame," you all would have stood up with the Progressives that have been shouting warnings since Bush started getting cocky, and stopped his massive power grab before we lost everything that America stands for. Instead, you scoffed and labeled those that would speak out against the Bush Administration as traitors. Now, suddenly, we're supposed to accept your change of heart?

I'm finding it pretty damn difficult to suddenly get excited about this "trend."

You should have "had it" in 2004. It was bad enough then. Thanks to you and your fellow silent apologists, we've got decades of cleanup ahead of us.

You helped this happen. Hell, you made this happen. Don't act as if you're suddenly a pillar of honesty and virtue. If one of you were to apologize to the Democrats and Progressives, rather than grump about how you've "had it," I think I'd have about twelve heart attacks in a row.

Bed. Made. Lie.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Crooks & Liars.)

I Believe that Big Whopping Bags of Cash are the Future

2006-10-11T13:38:00.001-04:00

You know, it's very heartwarming and inspiring to me that, no matter what problems and tragedies might occur in this country, no matter what hardships we may endure as a nation, we can all go to bed secure in the knowledge that the Bushes are always taken care of.

No Bush Left Behind: The President's Brother Neil is Making Hay from School Reform

Across the country, some teachers complain that President George W. Bush's makeover of public education promotes "teaching to the test." The President's younger brother Neil takes a different tack: He's selling to the test. The No Child Left Behind Act compels schools to prove students' mastery of certain facts by means of standardized exams. Pressure to perform has energized the $1.9 billion-a-year instructional software industry.

Now, after five years of development and backing by investors like Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal and onetime junk-bond king Michael R. Milken, Neil Bush aims to roll his high-tech teacher's helpers into classrooms nationwide. He calls them "curriculum on wheels," or COWs. The $3,800 purple plug-and-play computer/projectors display lively videos and cartoons: the XYZ Affair of the late 1790s as operetta, the 1828 Tariff of Abominations as horror flick. The device plays songs that are supposed to aid the memorization of the 22 rivers of Texas or other facts that might crop up in state tests of "essential knowledge."

Bush's Ignite! Inc. has sold 1,700 COWs since 2005, mainly in Texas, where Bush lives and his brother was once governor. In August, Houston's school board authorized expenditures of up to $200,000 for COWs. The company expects 2006 revenue of $5 million. Says Bush about the impact of his name: "I'm not saying it hasn't opened any doors. It may have helped with some sales." (In September, the U.S. Education Dept.'s inspector general accused the agency of improperly favoring at least five publishers, including The McGraw-Hill Companies, which owns BusinessWeek. A company spokesman says: "Our reading programs have been successful in advancing student achievement for decades; that's why educators hold them in such high regard.")

Yes, the Bush name "may have helped with some sales," otherwise, it had absolutley nothing to do with it. All self-made men, those Bushes. And I find their choice of "horror flick" material to be very interesting, namely, a tariff that hurt the cotton-producing South. I wonder if the slaves that actually picked the cotton are mentioned in this little "lively horror flick?"

Anyway.

While hardly the first brother to embarrass a President - remember Billy Carter's Billy Beer or Roger Clinton's cocaine? - Neil could be the first to seek profit from a hallmark Presidential crusade. And also that of a governor: Jeb makes school standards a centerpiece in Florida, too.

Neil says he never talks shop with his brothers. He attributes his interest in education to his struggles with dyslexia. His son, Pierce, also had difficulties in school, he says. "Not one of our investors has ever asked for any kind of special access - a visa, a trip to the Lincoln Bedroom, an autographed picture, or anything."

It's all just so down-home and innocent, isn't it? And nepotism has nothing to do with it. (I like the little jab at the Clenis with that Lincoln Bedroom comment, too.)

I suppose the nice thing about being the Zeppo of the Bush brothers is that no one really seems to pay the slightest attention to what you're doing.

Apparently, even with all of their "crusades for education," the one phrase that has never made it into the Bush vocabulary is Conflict of Interest.

(Tip o the Energy Dome to Crooks & Liars.)

Edit: I can't believe I missed the obvious "cash COW" joke. I'm slipping.

Go See Blue Gal

2006-10-11T13:34:00.000-04:00

For a little bit of something that will make you shake your head, and a little bit of something that will make you laugh your ass off.

It's Been Said

2006-10-11T13:17:00.000-04:00

So I began reading this news story, because the title made me snort:

President Says Foley Conduct Disgusting

Glass houses, Bush. Glass houses.

WASHINGTON - President Bush on Wednesday called ex-Rep. Mark Foley's approaches to House male pages "disgusting" and backed Speaker
Dennis Hastert's efforts to learn how officials handled the problem.

Bush's remarks at a White House news conference came Peggy Sampson, the supervisor of the page program, was questioned for less than two hours before the House ethics committee. The panel is not only investigating Foley's inappropriate and sometimes salacious electronic messages to former pages, but whether House officials covered up Foley's come-ons.

Blah-dee-blah. It's all the usual Bush bullshit. Anything to help out good 'ol Denny (who's Bush Nickname is "Speak," by the way, whatever the fuck that means) and try to divert blame away from the GOP.

And then, at the end of the article, amidst all the other Bush blather... I saw.... IT!!!

He defended Hastert, who said he first learned of the approaches in late September.

"I think the speaker's strong statements have made it clear to not only the party ... but to the country that he wants to find out the facts," Bush said. "Denny is very credible as far as I'm concerned. He's done a fine job as speaker."

The DOOM PHRASE! Hastert got his own "heckuva job!"

If there's any justice in this world, the second those words burbled from Bush's lips, Hastert began emptying his desk.

You Mean They Were Lying About the "Big Tent?"

2006-10-10T15:16:00.000-04:00

Gay Republicans Find Chill Climate in Washington After Scandal

You're kidding me!!

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Gay Republicans say the scandal involving lurid emails sent to minors by a gay Republican lawmaker has hurt their efforts for greater acceptance within their own party.

The controversy over lewd computer messages sent to underage congressional workers by disgraced ex-representative Mark Foley has exposed a serious rift between party progressives and Christian conservatives, and increased internal fears that a fractured Republican party faces a greater chance of being defeated in next month's national elections.

The culture war pits liberal party members, who say tolerance and outreach are key to ensuring sufficient recruitment for the future, against Christian conservatives who form the party's base.

Patrick Sammon, head of the national gay Republican group Log Cabin Republicans said recently that the situation has left some homosexuals in his party "feeling under siege, both as gay and lesbian people and as Republicans."

"If Foley broke the law, he should be prosecuted. His sexual orientation is irrelevant to this story," he said.

"Predictably, anti-gay groups have used this awful situation to push their divisive agenda," Sammon said. "They are using this scandal to try and score political points."

Since the Foley scandal broke, conservatives have been more vocal than ever about their wish to exclude homosexuals from their ranks.

The conservative Family Research Council said the scandal showed that the party's efforts at inclusiveness had gone too far.

"The Foley scandal shows what happens when political correctness is put ahead of protecting children," said Tony Perkins, president of the conservative interest group shortly after the scandal broke.

In other news: A nice mug of cocoa in front of the fire is a pleasant way to spend a chilly winter evening.

"It's Hard Work," the 2006 Remix

2006-10-10T14:24:00.000-04:00

Looks like Bush has found himself a new catch phrase.

Q Mr. President, if I could follow up, you say diplomacy takes time –

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, it does.

Q — but it was four years ago that you labeled North Korea a member of the "axis of evil." And since then it’s increased its nuclear arsenal, it’s abandoned six-party talks and now these missile launches –

THE PRESIDENT: Let me ask you a question. It’s increased it’s — that’s an interesting statement: "North Korea has increased its nuclear arsenal." Can you verify that?

Q Well, intelligence sources say — if you can — if you’d like to dispute that, that’s fine.

THE PRESIDENT: No, I’m not going to dispute, I’m just curious.

Q Our intelligence sources say that it’s increased the number — its nuclear capability

THE PRESIDENT: — dangerous — it has potential danger.

Q It’s increased is nuclear capabilities. It’s abandoned six-party talks, and it’s launched these missiles.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes.

Q Why shouldn’t Americans see the U.S. policy regarding North Korea as a failed one?

THE PRESIDENT: Because it takes time to get things done.

"It takes time to get things done." Your Bush All-Purpose excuse for 2006. (Additional transcript at the link.)

Also, it's very comforting how "North Korea has increased its nuclear arsenal." is an "interesting statement" to Bush, and he's asking for further "verification," isn't it? Ye gods.

(Sorry about my long absence; I was in NYC for a wedding and didn't realize how little computer access I would have)

Just for SAP

2006-10-05T14:24:00.000-04:00

Because I only exist to torment him with news and pictures of... CLOWNS! OMG!!!!11!!

Clown Running for Mayor of Almeda

ALAMEDA, Calif. (AP) -- A real clown is running for mayor of Alameda, and even his sister won't vote for him.

Seriously, they could just end the article right there. It says it all, and qualifies for the best article ever written in the history of time.

Kenneth Kahn, 41, a professional joker known as ''Kenny the Clown,'' admits he's running a long-shot campaign for City Hall's top spot. Kahn has not previously run for an elected position and has never sat on a public board.

''People ask me, 'Do we really want to elect a clown for mayor of the city?''' he said. ''I say, 'That's an excellent question.'''

Kahn's mother, Barbara, said her son doesn't have a chance, and Sylvia Kahn, a teacher, said her brother's candidacy is a ''mockery of our system.''

''I don't think it makes any sense, because, to me, running for mayor is not where you start as far as community involvement goes,'' she said.

Uh, what? What a sourpuss. And how is running for mayor not "community involvement?" Jesus, lighten up, sister.

I always liked Jello Biafra's idea when he was running for mayor of San Francisco: require that all businessmen wear clown suits. If Kahn required that, he'd have my vote in a second. Think of it, a clown mayor, and clowns running all the businesses. Finally, a realistic picture of America!

Plus, how can you not love a mayor named Kahn? Every time he did something that pissed you off, you could stand in the middle of the street, shake your fists at the sky, and scream "Kaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhnnnn!" in your best Shatner.

Oh, my goodness. I hope he moves to Chicago.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Article of Faith, and to Shakes for hipping me to the story.)

Warning: Scary Clown Pictures Ahead

2006-10-05T12:41:00.000-04:00

Just so you all know, my movie review website, "Get Down With the Klown!" launched this week. If you're a fan of cult trash, b-flicks, and general sleaze, I hope you'll check it out. There's only two reviews at the moment... you've probably seen my review of Slither here, and I just recently reviewed Target Earth for our first review roundtable, "Alpaca Lips Now," where several brave reviewers have tackled the worst cinematic post-apocalypse cheese for your enjoyment. They're all well worth your time... check them out!

And by the way, my site is hosted by frequent commenter Deeky as a sister site to his amazing cult flick site, Surfin' Dead. He's celebrating a year anniversary and 100 reviews... stop by and say hello!

Lower than You Ever Thought Possible

2006-10-05T11:37:00.000-04:00

The Right Wing has absolutely no shame whatsoever.

I wonder if Michelle Malkin will come out and condemn this vile behavior?

Watch me hold my breath.

UPDATE: Well, ruffle my hair and call me Frankie. Malkin actually is speaking out against this. True to form, apparently they're "sinking to the level" of those unhinged liberals. Whatever. Enjoy the stink of corruption, Michelle. About time you finally woke up and realized where it was coming from. (Thanks to coturnix for the heads-up.)

Snort

2006-10-04T17:25:00.000-04:00

Court Temporarily OKs Domestic Spying

CINCINNATI - The Bush administration can continue its warrantless surveillance program while it appeals a judge's ruling that the program is unconstitutional, a federal appeals court ruled Wednesday.

The president has said the program is needed in the war on terrorism; opponents argue it oversteps constitutional boundaries on free speech, privacy and executive powers.

The unanimous ruling from a three-judge panel of the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals gave little explanation for the decision. In the three-paragraph ruling, judges said that they balanced the likelihood an appeal would succeed, the potential damage to both sides and the public interest.

U.S. District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor in Detroit ruled Aug. 17 that the program was unconstitutional because it violates the rights to free speech and privacy and the separation of powers in the Constitution.

The Justice Department had urged the appeals court to allow it to keep the program in place while it argues its appeal, claiming that the nation faced "potential irreparable harm." The appeal is likely to take months.

"The country will be more vulnerable to a terrorist attack," the government motion said.

As if anyone in the Bush Administration, at any time, felt they needed permission from a judge to spy on Americans without a warrant.

"Sure, it may be illegal, but go ahead and do it anyway while we make up our minds!"

This should come in quite handy when finding "terrorist sympathizers" in "leftist organizations."

Step Away from the Bills!

2006-10-04T16:38:00.000-04:00

Every time he signs one, the country hemorrhages money, or we look even worse. Sometimes both.

Bush Signs Homeland Security Bill

That would be the "Homeland Security Bill" that paints us all as racist xenophobes. Just so you know.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. - President Bush on Wednesday signed a homeland security bill that includes an overhaul of the Federal Emergency Management Agency and $1.2 billion for fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border to stem illegal immigration.

Standing before a mountainous backdrop in Arizona, a state that has been the center of much debate over secure borders, Bush signed into law a $35 billion homeland security spending bill that could bring hundreds of miles of fencing to the busiest illegal entry point on the U.S.-Mexican border.

[...]

"It's what the people in this country want," Bush said. "They want to know that we are modernizing the border so we can better secure the border."

Funny, it's not what I want. And how exactly is simply throwing up a few hundred miles of fence "modernizing" the border?

And, once again, all together... what about the other borders?

Outgoing Mexican President Vicente Fox, who has spent his six-year term lobbying for a new guest worker program and an amnesty for the millions of Mexicans working illegally in the United States, has called the barrier "shameful." He compares it to the Berlin Wall.

Some Democrats criticized the homeland security spending bill as too meager.

Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., a senior member of the House Homeland Security Committee, said the homeland security spending bill does not improve screening of cargo carried on passenger planes, does not provide money to buy and install advanced explosive-detection equipment and does not include strong enough security requirements to protect against a terrorist attack on chemical plants.

Yeah, but at least we're keeping those Mexicans out, and keeping them from stealing our jobs.

No One Should Have Access to Anything!

2006-10-04T10:11:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the year, my little Spuds... the leaves are changing, there's a chill in the air... the mold count is sky high, making my fellow allergy sufferers miserable... grocery stores suddenly are buried in pumpkins, and the Fundies are banning everything in sight!

GA Mother Seeks Harry Potter Ban

At first, I read it as Harry Potter Band, and I thought, "Awesome! Hagrid and the Angry Inch!"

ATLANTA - A suburban county that sparked a public outcry when its libraries temporarily eliminated funding for Spanish-language fiction is now being asked to ban Harry Potter books from its schools.

Laura Mallory, a mother of four, told a hearing officer for the Gwinnett County Board of Education on Tuesday that the popular fiction series is an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion.

Board of Education attorney Victoria Sweeny said that if schools were to remove all books containing reference to witches, they would have to ban "Macbeth" and "Cinderella."

Blah, blah, fucking blah. You've heard it all before. It's not enough that their kids aren't exposed to eeeeevil witches, no, everyone has to conform to their narrow-minded idea of what should and should not be read by children. I feel like I keep writing the same post every time something like this pops up in the news. Why do they feel the need to impose their values on others, separation of church and state, yadda, yadda, yadda. Someone should just create a template post that blogs could cut and paste when one of these Fundies get bunchy panties. And just to give you an idea of the mindset of these people:

In June, the county's library board eliminated the $3,000 that had been set aside to buy Spanish-language fiction in the coming fiscal year. One board member said the move came after some residents objected to using taxpayer dollars to entertain readers who might be illegal immigrants.

Nice.

And, of course, as October 31st quickly approaches, I'm sure we can expect to start seeing the "Halloween banned from schools" stories. Steel yourself now.

After all, as soon as Halloween is over, it's "War on Christmas" season!

They Get Letters

2006-10-03T10:59:00.000-04:00

Threat Notes Mentioned Bush

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - An engineer at a nuclear power plant has been charged with sending threatening letters containing a powdery substance to a country club where
President Bush is scheduled to appear Tuesday for a Republican campaign event.

Michael Lee Braun, 51, was appeared in court Monday on two federal charges of sending threats through the mail. The FBI said he also is a suspect in mailing dozens of similar threats since shortly after the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The charges are connected to two letters prosecutors said Braun mailed on Thursday to the Serrano Country Club and Serrano Visitors Center in El Dorado Hills, a tony community in the foothills east of Sacramento. Bush plans to appear at the club Tuesday afternoon in a campaign event for U.S. Rep. John Doolittle, R-Calif.

The letters contained threats to Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Doolittle, according to an FBI statement.

While this particular case isn't "believed to be" related to the 2001 anthrax mailings, this loop has been sending out this stuff since 2001. 51 mailings. At first, when I began reading this story, I thought we were starting to see a new wave of "white powder" threats... but obviously, this little elf has been very busy in his workshop for a long time. Glad they got him, but it does strike me as a little odd that it took this long to make an arrest. But hey, I'm not in the FBI, what do I know?

The affidavit said Braun has a master's degree in radiological physics and a law degree. He has worked as a nuclear engineer at Rancho Seco since 1984 while practicing law part-time.

Uh, yikes. I guess we should be glad he's just sending around baking soda.

Just A Thought

2006-10-02T13:57:00.000-04:00

This has been bothering me all morning.

It would have been very, very nice to have seen this much mainstream media coverage, outrage from both sides of the fence, and noise from the Democrats for the Torture Bill as there has been for Mark Foley.

Not to mention this.

Too bad there was no "forbidden sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" angle thrown into the Torture bill... or maybe a reference to JonBenet Ramsey. Someone might have noticed it, then.